Escaping Cape Fear: 9 Ways To Not Let Fear Stop You
Cape Fear. It’s not only a physical place in North Carolina and a movie by Martin Scorsese, but it’s an imaginary place we create in our minds. It has treacherous waters on three sides and our biggest fears blocking our only route out.
On the other side of these fears is everything we desire; from our dream job to immense success to happiness. So how do we get to the other side? We need to escape!
Here are 9 ways to go about it and not let fear stop you.
1. Understand that fear is your greatest obstacle
Not the lack of knowledge, money, success, or the circumstances you’re facing can stop you from achieving what you desire like fear. Fear not only stops you, but it paralyzes you.
What’s great is that YOU create your fears, so YOU can beat them.
2. Laugh
If you can make fun of yourself and make others laugh during a nerve-racking experience, fear basically disappears. And if you think about it, laughter is more powerful than fear. It can change lives and bring people together.
3. Face fear directly
How do you achieve success?
You face the hard work and persistence it takes to get there.
How do you get over your past?
You face your memories.
So how do you overcome fear?
You’ve got to stare it right in the face and smell its stinky breath.
How do you stare fear in its face? There’s no clear cut way to do it. It varies so much because of different situations. But the most common instance when one needs to face fear is during a desperate moment. Moments when you’re either going to make it or break it. These times are often difficult to plan for.
However, you’ll know when you need to face fear right at eye level. It’s a personal experience and no one can tell you when and how to really do it.
4. Know that fear means you’re doing new things
If you want the same ol’, you do the same ol’. But if you want to change something in your life, you must try and do new things. Doing things you’ve never done in your life will produce fear.
So if you’re fearful, you might actually be on a good path.
5. Don’t tell others you’re scared
You might not completely agree with this, but don’t always tell other people that you’re scared or fearful of something. When you do, you give yourself permission to display your nervousness and fears, and you set yourself up to make mistakes.
There are plenty of ways to relieve your nerves and stress without you directly telling others. Stretching and deep breaths can help.
6. Compare the fear with your end result
When confronted with a fear take a few moments and compare the fear with the end result on the other side.
Is the time and energy you put into the fear worth destroying your dreams, goals, successes, and hard work you put in? I highly doubt it. Realizing this will push you to just go for it!
7. Acknowledge that fear exists for a reason
Not only does having fear mean that you’re human and not a robot, but fear is also one of those necessary obstacles that separates those who want something from those who have a burning desire for that same something.
If there was no fear every single person in this world would be hugely successful.
8. Think back
Think back to a time or times when you let fear get the best of you. What did you miss out on? What opportunities passed you by?
Don’t get frustrated with your past mistakes, but don’t allow fear to force you to repeat them.
9. Remind yourself that you’ve got one shot!
Life doesn’t last for very long. We need to remind ourselves of this all the time.
Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
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Photo by Capture Queen ™
31 Responses to “Escaping Cape Fear: 9 Ways To Not Let Fear Stop You”
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The more powerful the enemy, the greater the victory.
Fear is the mother of all negative forces. The payoff for overcoming it is therefore huge. Not many things in life that are more worthy of our best efforts than moving beyond the paralyzing influence of fear.
So true John!
Fear really is the toughest force we can ever go against. But once we can get past it, nothing can stop us.
-Andrew
Point nine is particularly important, this is what drives me to do most things that I am scared of, seize the day.
Sometimes fear can’t be helped, what about traumatic events in peoples lives? For example, you can’t laugh at something if it reminds you of a horrible memory. Fear is as natural as joy, these emotions and feelings shouldn’t be shunted from your mind because they are unpleasant, without fear suicide ratings would probably sky rocket. However if someone has a fear like arachnaphobia or globaphobia i can understand (fear of spiders and fear of balloons) these tips as being very helpful
@Bebo, yeah Point nine is the most powerful.
@Guardian, I understand what you’re saying. Fear certainly can’t be stopped from entering our lives. But how long we’re held captive by it and how we react to it can be altered.
Also, not all nine of these points will work for every instance of fear.
-Andrew
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
- Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear.
Dune (1965)
by Frank Herbert
Great quote!
-Andrew
The last line of #7 is simply not true. “Feel good” maybe, but not true.
How is it not true John?
-Andrew
A good thing to be aware of is that fear will never go away as you continue to grow and face new experiences, so it’s a good to learn to deal with it.
Very true Raphael! You can run but you can’t hide from fear.
-Andrew
I disagree with #5, to a certain extent. Some people like to voice their fears b/c they enjoy keeping them alive. To those people, I would agree with you and say don’t share your fears with others. But there is a way to share your fears in a healthy manner, that allows you to have an open discussion with someone insightful and wise, who can help lead you through those fears and empower you with hope and courage.
Great post!
Very interesting point Hope! I knew that some people would disagree with number 5.
If a person was to share their fears with someone, it would have to be an individual you truly trust and know will help you.
Glad you liked the post.
-Andrew
It depends on your definition of “hugely successful.” If the definition gravitates toward a feeling of spiritual, inner satisfaction and success by overcoming your fears, then everyone could be successful. However, if the usual definition and manifestation of success is used – accumulation of material wealth, then no, everyone could not be successful. The world would quickly be exhausted of its resources in meeting the appetite of the ever increasing “hugely successful” people. I realize you could argue the fine points of the changes that may occur in attitudes and values if everyone overcame their fears, but at face value and using the traditionally held idea of success, the statement in #7 is unattainable.
I understand where you’re coming from John but I still disagree, which is fine
.
The BIGGEST obstacle in the path towards success for anyone is usually the obstacles they create themselves. And it’s almost always the obstacle of fear.
Therefore, if there was no fear; then there would be nothing preventing everyone from achieving success. And my definition of success is not solely material wealth.
-Andrew
Andrew, thanks for being civil. All to often, forums and comment areas devolve into insults and name calling. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone is entitled to express it. I respect yours, and I think your idea is more in line with the first definition of success.
I am not trying to create an argument, but I was thinking about this fear/ success question after posting my last reply. I was trying to think of situations where one may overcome their fears but not be successful on a scale a little smaller than population growth, resources, and carrying capacity. I came up with a scenario that I think applies. I know a guy that pursued a musical career. His dream, and I’m sure his definition of success, was to make it big in a rock band. He overcame all of the fears one could imagine would face someone in this business. He tasted a small amount of local and regional success, and his band was even approached by a label to sign a for a record deal. Some unfortunate events occurred in which another member of the band was not willing to go to that next level, and the label lost interest. He continued on in the music business, but he never had another opportunity such as this come up again. My point is that sometimes it doesn’t matter if you faced your fears, sometimes events out of your control prevent you from achieving the success you seek. Call it bad luck or bad timing, sometimes things just don’t work out. I think if you asked the guy in my example, he would say that we was proud of himself for trying, but he would probably not tell you that he thought he was hugely successful. I think this kind of thing happens quite frequently in the real world. I also think that a lot of people never even try to achieve success because they fear that the very same thing could happen to them. Many often decide that they don’t want to pursue something because chances are they will do a bunch of work and not end up reaching their idea of success. There is also an element of supply and demand in all this. In the same vein as the example given above, there are many, many people that endeavor to make it in the entertainment business that simply do not. This failure to succeed in the way that they would like can be do to lack of talent, bad luck, or the very real fact that the market can support only so many actors or musicians, etc. Sometimes, failing to succeed has nothing to do with one’s inability to overcome their fears. Sometimes, failure/ success has more to do with being in the right/ wrong place at the right/ wrong time.
No problem John. You’re very right; it’s so easy for forums posts to get out of hand. It’s the anonymity of the internet that allows people to be insulting. That’s why I keep a warning below the comment area that comments that aren’t respectful will be deleted.
Thanks for sharing that story. I definitely respect your argument and it makes a lot of sense. It’s a unique story that has to do with a group of people. My viewpoint is on an individual. I don’t know the whole background of the story and the others, but perhaps some of the group members’ fears affected the success of the rest?
Thanks for replying to my comments! It’s great to talk about this.
-Andrew
I absolutely agree that the other band member’s fear(s) affected the rest. However, on an individual basis, I strongly believe in the latter part of my last post. I think supply and demand and timing have some affect on success. I’m not sure how much. I also think that you have to overcome your fears to achieve success. I just don’t think that overcoming your fears guarantees success. If someone wants to be successful and achieve their goals, the first step in attempting this is to overcome their fears. However, one must accept the fact that the greatest fear they may need to overcome is the idea that despite overcoming their fears and all the hard work they may invest, there are no guarantees that they will achieve that success. The person that has come to terms with that is probably the most likely to succeed.
Yeah, you’re completely correct; supply and demand definitely have an affect on success. Fear isn’t the only factor. And overcoming certainly doesn’t guarantee success. I’m just stressing that it’s often the biggest obstacle most people face.
“despite overcoming their fears and all the hard work they may invest, there are no guarantees that they will achieve that success.”
True. They might not achieve THAT success, but if they persist they will achieve another success and it may be even greater.
-Andrew
This is a great little article, if we do not face our fear and turn it into strength and will power it can consume us.
A life spent living in fear mean that you no longer make decisions for your own well being and future. All of your life’s actions will be driven by fear.
Fear is fed to us from the day we started school, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of the repercussions of making a mistake. The list goes on forever.
The easiest way to overcome fear is to embrace your inner child. Children fear nothing, they do what every pops into their little minds and learn at incredible rates without fear holding them back.
Get out of high school where you started to get driven by fear and go back to living and learning as you did as a child. Your future will be bright!!!
Glad you like it “MPC”!
It’s very true that children usually don’t have many inhibitions. They often don’t care what other people think.
-Andrew
One good tip and lady me told me a while ago to help me get over fear is ‘to do something you afraid of everyday’
Keep repeating that in your head will allow you get over any road blocks.
Also, I totally agree with MPC and Andrew. Children don’t care which allows them to say what they want or do what they want. Us adults need to think like children at times.
That’s a great tip! I think there’s a quote that says do one thing everyday that scares you.
It might be tough to do that but reminding ourselves when a scary situation comes up can helps us get over it.
-Andrew
Thank you so much for this article. I am in a 100% agreement that “….fear is your greatest obstacle” but when you over come fear and face it, the results are amazing.
Glad you liked it Saeed! Thanks for reading it.
-Andrew
I agree that once you face fear and move on you can do anything you want. That’s the hardest part to confront what you are afraid of.
And think back could be useful as well. Just think about how many times you thought that task was impossible to overcome and you did it. Now, it’s history you don’t even think why that was hard at all.
You have to have a head-on collision with your fear to see that it’s not that bad at all.
Very true Zoltan!
-Andrew
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I thought this was a good article, and I did find it helpful, and even a little empowering. But it really wasn’t on target as far as type of fear that I face.
You see, I am a successful person (at least in my own mind). I have managed to obtain some of the most important things that I wanted in life, both in a professional and personal sense. I hold an administrative postion at work – I have the big corner office with the big window and fancy furniture – I have the multi-million dollar budget – I have my own staff – I get paid well – I drive the big and fancy car – I have a nice house that sits on a couple of acres of property – I have the loving wife and kids – I have a few but close personal friends – and I also my have my health to be grateful for.
Incidentally, I do realize that there are other people with much higher or different (and grander) aspirations than myself, that wouldn’t consider me a success at all. And that’s ok, as one noted earlier everyone has there own definition of success. And one more incidental note, I consider myself blessed and fortunate to have achieved and obtained some of most important things that I wanted out of life. I don’t flaunt what I have and I don’t put on an assuming facade; at times I make deliberate effort to humble myself, maybe to a fault.
But the one thing that I don’t have, that I believe is the most important thing of all for me is peace. I live in this constant state of fear; albeit, a “low-level” fear (or anxiety) that is not debilitating or paralyzing, but it is always present and accounted for, as they say in the military.
This low-lever fear stems from working in the “rat-race”. The rat-race can be just as ugly and vicious as a political race in the heat of an election, where the politicians maximize and capitalize on your mistakes and weakeness in a deliberate effort to undermine you, so that they can eventually be rid of you, while they completely ignore or mininize any of your strenghts or accomplishments. I feel like I’m under a constant state of attack. I’m not being paranoid here. I’ve had my share of confrontations, where I had to fend of attacks from a person or two who wanted my job, or where I had to fire an employee for openly undermining me.
Like I said, I’m not a paranoid (or naive) person. By far the overwhelming majority of people I work with, are good decent people, who just want to do their jobs and be happy. It’s just that within every organization, there exists a handful of people who for whatever reason, are going to be deadset on underming you.
I can take the heat, so I stay in the kitchen. But one day I fear I’m going to make a mistake, that will give them the ammunition to take me down.
That’s my fear.
Hi John,
Thanks for sharing your story. I think a lot of people can relate to your fear.
Now I have a question for you. If you were to make a mistake that someone used to “take you down” would you be able to rebuild? Perhaps not at the same company, but somewhere else? You sound like a very successful individual and I’m sure you could do it and start over if you had to.
Thanks again for being so open!
-Andrew