It’s Never Too Late to Do What You Love
This is a guest post.
“I feel like my best days are behind me,” Jan said when she called to discuss her career goals. “It’s too late to do what I really want to do, so I’ll have to settle for security. Can you help me find what that is before it’s too late?”
Jan is not alone in thinking that time is her enemy. Many of my clients believe they missed life’s greatest opportunities, even young clients who have decades of life ahead of them. Jan’s autobiography (my client’s first assignment) revealed her obsession with appearances began when she identified with her mother’s hopes and dreams. As she worked on her life story Jan realized when and why she decided that she should repeat her mother’s life. Looking at the parents and their marriage from an adult’s point of view set her free to create a different ending to her story, although this did not happen overnight.
As Jan learned, pretending to be the person she thought others wanted her to be was a hard habit to break. Again and again she found herself going back to what was familiar, such as trying to please everyone, and then feeling too exhausted to discover what she wanted to do.
When Jan’s subconscious finally accepted she had needs, particularly the need for solitude and intellectual stimulation, she ended a relationship and went back to school to get a graduate degree in psychology. Today she uses her experience and insight to help clients find meaning in their lives.
“I could never be as effective as I am without the struggle I went through,” Jan said, when she called to let me know how life and work were going. “Nor could I bear with my clients when they are going through difficult situations. I know that eventually they will see that today is not yesterday, that opportunities abound. Then, just as I did, they will feel as though they woke up from a bad dream.”
An added bonus to Jan’s career success is the man she met at a psychology conference.
“We’re the same age and we have the same values. Neither of us wants to go back in time, where we are is too much fun.”
Jan’s experience with time changed when she discovered the authentic self she had rejected for fear of disapproval. She doesn’t worry about what others think and do now, which gives her a distinct advantage in the marketplace. While other counselors try to be all things to all people and fail, Jan’s practice is thriving.
“You have to listen to your intuition if you want to get life moving in the right direction,” Jan said, as she gathered up her belongings. “In the end, it’s the best guide, but boy, is it ever hard to trust that inner voice when so many people are going in the opposite direction.”
To make money doing what you love look within to find the treasure of great price: your authentic self. Write your life story, beginning with your grandparents and parents’ beliefs about money, work and love. As you work on your story think like a novelist, refer to family members by their first names so you can see them as people, not as authority figures you dislike, fear or worship.
Objectivity about your forbearers will also help to resolve conflicts you have today with authority figures, such as bosses, experts, and partners who would rather be right than reasonable. Seeing these people as they are not as you want them to be will help you to be more self-accepting.
By the time you finish your story you will see the choices you made that always ended in failure, some of which you may still repeat. And you will see when you were true to yourself in spite of the risks. If you stop making the choices that never work, and you repeat the choices that always turn out well, you will succeed beyond your fondest dreams. Then time will shift into timelessness.
Written by Nancy Anderson
Nancy Anderson is a career and life consultant based in the San Francisco Bay Area and the author of the best-selling career guide, Work with Passion, How To Do What You Love For a Living. Her new book, Work with Passion in Midlife and Beyond is available in online and retail bookstores. Her website is workwithpassion.com.
Photo by flickrohit
6 Responses to “It’s Never Too Late to Do What You Love”
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I agree with you 100%, the important thing in our life is to take advantage form our experience and take it as a step toward the future and this future not necessary to be extend to our bast where it may be just a new life with a new hope.
I also want to confirm the other side of this issue which is (Change Resistance) by ourselves or others.
Glad you enjoyed the article! Older age is actually a great time to figure out what you want to do in life. All the experiences you have can focus more on what your passion is or isn’t.
-Andrew
This article has me wowed because it so resonates with what I’m going through today – conflicting with guardian figures, trying to re-discover my authentic ’self’, figuring out my life choices, generally. And I’ve also begun to write a bit about my family members, thanks to this Toastmasters public speaking club I’m a member of, where we give speeches. For one speech topic, I’ve written about my grandparents from a second person point of view, which helped me to untangle my feelings towards them a bit – but I haven’t yet written about them from the perspectives of money, work, love – things I’ll be working on, soon, after reading this. And next, I’ll be writing about my parents. Thanks for a timely read, Nancy and Andrew!
Hi Priyanka,
So glad this was a timely article for you! Best wishes and kudos for working so hard.
-Andrew
This is great. Perspective is often thought to be objective; we think we’re looking at things “the way they are”…the fact is that we always have the choice to look at things from whatever perspective we choose. Every passing moment is all we really have, and it’s all we’ve EVER really had. Your age has NOTHING to do with what you can accomplish and especially how much you can or should enjoy your life.
So true Christian!! Glad you like this article too.
-Andrew