The Benjamin Button guide to living backwards
“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.” – Søren Aaby Kierkegaard
Have you ever experienced an event in your life that seems to make absolutely no sense?
Sure you have; we all have. They’re usually the “why me?” moments. You don’t see the value in them until you look back long after they occur. By then, it may be too late to benefit from the events.
In the film, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; which releases on Christmas day, the main character lives his life backwards. The film is adapted from an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story of the same name; it stars Brad Pitt as Benjamin.
When Ben is born, he is crippled and already in his eighties. However, as he grows “older” he actually becomes younger. This gives him the unique opportunity to see and understand why certain events and circumstances happen in life.
Here is the trailer (be forewarned: the trailer gives a lot of the movie plot away)
High-def trailer from TrailerAddict.com
Now imagine you could be like Benjamin Button and understand the purpose of everything that happens in your life. The happy moments and the sad, the tragic and scary, the embarrassing, and the moments that are difficult. Imagine…
You would be in the right frame of mind in every situation, your wisdom would grow, and your worries would be laid to rest.
You may not be able to grow younger but you don’t have to wait until you’re old and bedbound to look back. You can understand your past, no matter what age you are now. It’ll help you make sense of today and move you into a new direction tomorrow.
Here is how you can live backwards like Benjamin Button
Sometimes, all we need to do is dissect an event and pull out all negative and positive sides. It’s human nature to “erase” memories from our minds, but it’s not always the right thing to do. You shouldn’t live in the past though. This article is only to help you visit your past as a temporary state.
First, grab yourself a few pieces of paper and a pen, or open a document on your computer. You can also do this in your mind if you wish, but you won’t get the same results.
Now, start off by writing down the events you actually understand why they occurred. Take your time and think back as many years as possible. The events could have produced positive or negative results, but try to stick with the good.
After that, start writing down events and past circumstances that make no sense as to why they occurred. Even jot down the little events, like embarrassing moments. Though they’re small, they can yield large outcomes.
Take the events you just wrote down and compile a list of the pros and cons of the occurrence. Here are a few things to think about:
What you’ve learned
- About others & yourself
- Any facts
- How something works
How it made you feel
What you’ve lost
- Money
- Friends
- Or perhaps nothing significant
Think of the others who were affected
- How the event affected them
- What they lost and gained
After taking the time to do this, it won’t be that long before you understand why the events occurred.
Thinking farther down the road, it’s time to reflect on your destiny. What is it that you want to do? Do you want to be an entrepreneur, teacher, singer, author, actor, social worker, or something else?
Now if you’d like, create another list with the events you now understand, but add more of the ones you still don’t get. Then write down in short sentences or in bulleted form, how the events and circumstances can help you achieve your destiny.
For instance, say I wanted to be an entrepreneur. Here are some possible events and circumstances; and how they could contribute to my goal:
I grew up poor
- It has taught me to be resourceful and grateful for what I have.
My father deserted my family
- Taught me I can’t rely on others, I must be self-sufficient.
I had a learning disability
- Forced me to teach myself and learn from books.
- Forced me to work twice as hard.
If you can’t think of how a circumstance or event can benefit your goal, then you aren’t thinking hard enough. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens without a purpose.
What to do right after a major event occurs in your life
When your life is struck with a difficult event, first; give yourself some time. Maybe a few days, a week; but a month at the most. You don’t want to linger too long in a frozen moment.
After your emotions have settled, grab your journal or some paper. Write down the major event, and the other circumstances brought on by it.
Now, write down different time periods; 6 months from now, a year from now, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years from now, and the rest of your life.
Then, do the same procedure as before. Write down how you can benefit from the event and how your goal can be achieved because of it.
For instance, say my job was eliminated and now I’m unemployed. And I still want to become an entrepreneur.
Laid off from job
6 months
- I have more time to develop business ideas.
- It’s a do or die situation. Little money means being resourceful and creativity are a necessity.
2 years from now
- I learned that I can’t rely on others for financial security. No turning back to a 9 to 5.
10 years from now
- When I succeed, being fired will be the greatest thing to ever happen to me.
Even after doing this there will be some positive results you won’t be able to foresee. It’s something we can’t change, but it makes life interesting.
A few more tips
- If you’re having trouble remembering events, break down each year of your life. From around your birth date all the way to this year. Or group your life into childhood, teens, twenties, etc.
- Take your time! This is not meant to be a quick reflection on your past.
- Ask family members about your past. There are things you won’t be able to remember but they might.
- If you wrote a diary when you were younger, try to find it and start reading.
- Also check out old photo albums. They’ll bring back memories.
That’s the basics of living life backwards like Benjamin Button. Feel free to explore other ways to learn and grow from your past. If you think of anything interesting, please share in the comments below.
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Photo by RBerteig
3 Responses to “The Benjamin Button guide to living backwards”
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That article made my “morning!” Thanks!
Glad you liked it so much
-Andrew
Benjamin Button was very Fincher-esque… almost as good as his other stuff if not for some nagging plot holes