“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.” - Søren Aaby Kierkegaard
Have you ever experienced an event in your life that seems to make absolutely no sense?
Sure you have; we all have. They’re usually the “why me?” moments. You don’t see the value in them until you look back long after they occur. By then, it may be too late to benefit from the events.
In the film, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; which releases on Christmas day, the main character lives his life backwards. The film is adapted from an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story of the same name; it stars Brad Pitt as Benjamin.
When Ben is born, he is crippled and already in his eighties. However, as he grows “older” he actually becomes younger. This gives him the unique opportunity to see and understand why certain events and circumstances happen in life.
Here is the trailer (be forewarned: the trailer gives a lot of the movie plot away)
Now imagine you could be like Benjamin Button and understand the purpose of everything that happens in your life. The happy moments and the sad, the tragic and scary, the embarrassing, and the moments that are difficult. Imagine…
You would be in the right frame of mind in every situation, your wisdom would grow, and your worries would be laid to rest.
You may not be able to grow younger but you don’t have to wait until you’re old and bedbound to look back. You can understand your past, no matter what age you are now. It’ll help you make sense of today and move you into a new direction tomorrow.
Here is how you can live backwards like Benjamin Button
Sometimes, all we need to do is dissect an event and pull out all negative and positive sides. It’s human nature to “erase” memories from our minds, but it’s not always the right thing to do. You shouldn’t live in the past though. This article is only to help you visit your past as a temporary state.
First, grab yourself a few pieces of paper and a pen, or open a document on your computer. You can also do this in your mind if you wish, but you won’t get the same results.
Now, start off by writing down the events you actually understand why they occurred. Take your time and think back as many years as possible. The events could have produced positive or negative results, but try to stick with the good.
After that, start writing down events and past circumstances that make no sense as to why they occurred. Even jot down the little events, like embarrassing moments. Though they’re small, they can yield large outcomes.
Take the events you just wrote down and compile a list of the pros and cons of the occurrence. Here are a few things to think about:
What you’ve learned
- About others & yourself
- Any facts
- How something works
How it made you feel
What you’ve lost
- Money
- Friends
- Or perhaps nothing significant
Think of the others who were affected
- How the event affected them
- What they lost and gained
After taking the time to do this, it won’t be that long before you understand why the events occurred.
Thinking farther down the road, it’s time to reflect on your destiny. What is it that you want to do? Do you want to be an entrepreneur, teacher, singer, author, actor, social worker, or something else?
Now if you’d like, create another list with the events you now understand, but add more of the ones you still don’t get. Then write down in short sentences or in bulleted form, how the events and circumstances can help you achieve your destiny.
For instance, say I wanted to be an entrepreneur. Here are some possible events and circumstances; and how they could contribute to my goal:
I grew up poor
- It has taught me to be resourceful and grateful for what I have.
My father deserted my family
- Taught me I can’t rely on others, I must be self-sufficient.
I had a learning disability
- Forced me to teach myself and learn from books.
- Forced me to work twice as hard.
If you can’t think of how a circumstance or event can benefit your goal, then you aren’t thinking hard enough. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens without a purpose.
What to do right after a major event occurs in your life
When your life is struck with a difficult event, first; give yourself some time. Maybe a few days, a week; but a month at the most. You don’t want to linger too long in a frozen moment.
After your emotions have settled, grab your journal or some paper. Write down the major event, and the other circumstances brought on by it.
Now, write down different time periods; 6 months from now, a year from now, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years from now, and the rest of your life.
Then, do the same procedure as before. Write down how you can benefit from the event and how your goal can be achieved because of it.
For instance, say my job was eliminated and now I’m unemployed. And I still want to become an entrepreneur.
Laid off from job
6 months
- I have more time to develop business ideas.
- It’s a do or die situation. Little money means being resourceful and creativity are a necessity.
2 years from now
- I learned that I can’t rely on others for financial security. No turning back to a 9 to 5.
10 years from now
- When I succeed, being fired will be the greatest thing to ever happen to me.
Even after doing this there will be some positive results you won’t be able to foresee. It’s something we can’t change, but it makes life interesting.
A few more tips
- If you’re having trouble remembering events, break down each year of your life. From around your birth date all the way to this year. Or group your life into childhood, teens, twenties, etc.
- Take your time! This is not meant to be a quick reflection on your past.
- Ask family members about your past. There are things you won’t be able to remember but they might.
- If you wrote a diary when you were younger, try to find it and start reading.
- Also check out old photo albums. They’ll bring back memories.
That’s the basics of living life backwards like Benjamin Button. Feel free to explore other ways to learn and grow from your past. If you think of anything interesting, please share in the comments below.
In the film Five Easy Pieces starring Jack Nicholson, the main character played by him, works in an oil field for many years after failing to achieve the dream of being a pianist; a dream which his parents created for him. Throughout the film, Jack’s character Robert Dupea doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to do with his life. He keeps running from his fears, his family, and from his past.
Figuring out what you were put on this Earth to do can sometimes be like putting together a jigsaw puzzle when the pieces are spread around the world. Some people don’t complete their puzzle because they often don’t have the patience, desire, or they’re just fearful. However, the five pieces needed to complete the puzzle of your life’s purpose are actually quite easy to find.
Here are the five easy pieces to piecing together your purpose in life.
1. Recognizing your talents and passions
This is probably the easiest and most common way for people to discover their purpose in life. So we’ll start off with it.
Following you talents and passions will lead to fulfillment, happiness, and even money to pay the bills (or even a lot more). Natural born or acquired talents, it doesn’t matter; you were given them by someone or something for a reason.
To discover more about your passions and talents, think of:
- What makes you cry with joy.
- What makes you and others smile.
- What people sincerely say you’re good at.
- What makes you and others laugh.
- What keeps you up all night because you’re so fired up about it.
2. Look to your past
It’s difficult sometimes to reflect on our pasts. There are plenty of events I would like to erase from my memory, but I think it’s foolish to do so. Instead, we should use it to move us forward and to make sense of where we are now.
Looking to our pasts to get a sense of our purpose has its own puzzle pieces:
- What circumstances were born into?
Perhaps you were born into poverty. Then your purpose may be to rise above impoverished surroundings and to lead others by example.
- What major mistakes and vices did you parents battle?
Were they abusive, addicted to drugs/alcohol, or did they engage is something else destructive? Well your purpose is not to continue the cycle. You have to break free and again, lead by example.
- What have you failed at?
Failure should never be permanent. It’s only there to separate those who want something more than those who don’t. If a failure of something affected you so much that you couldn’t stop thinking about it, then your purpose is to get back in the game, approach it differently and succeed.
- Who affected you the most in a positive way?
Was it a teacher, author, actor, director, a president, or a local hero? If they changed your life, then perhaps you should carry on their mission as well.
4. Leave the world a little better than when we were born into it.
And yes to all the negative Nancys and Neds: not everyone will fulfill these purposes, but everyone can.
4. Be open to multiple purposes
Many of us have multiple purposes, but often we have one main mission in life, and then other smaller reasons for existing. Perhaps someone is supposed to be a great parent, but also change the world in another way.
Other times, two different purposes can form into a larger one. I’ve been told that I was pretty good at writing and I should think about turning it into a career, but I always brushed it off. One thing I always wanted to do was change the world. So I decided one day to just combine the two and change the world through my talent of writing.
Our purposes can also vary depending on our age. Commonly it’s materialistic in nature when we’re younger, but not so much when we get older.
This leads me to the fifth piece of the puzzle…
5. Find out what your purpose in the now is
What you’re on this Earth to do today is more important than what your purpose later in life is. Today is guaranteed, tomorrow isn’t.
If you think your purpose it to share your art with the world, then start today! If you feel you’re supposed to be a social entrepreneur, then get going now! You may find something that’ll give your life meaning until the end.
We wait for the perfect moment, but it doesn’t exist. Concentrate on your purpose for today, tomorrow, next month, and for the next few years at the most. Life is now, not tomorrow.
When we create life lists we always think of the things we desire to do. But we don’t spend enough time or anytime at all, thinking about the things we shouldn’t do in our lives.
This list compiles 15 things to never do in life. Now if you’ve done them don’t worry, every day is a fresh start.
1. Pursue something for money
This has delayed my path to success for years. Every endeavor I undertook was done mainly for the monetary gain. This will almost always lead to failure. And if it does lead to any success, chasing money only makes the journey that much longer. Passion and purpose needs to be the most important aspect of any pursuit. However, following a passion can lead you to riches as well. Check out this video of Gary Vaynerchuk, a successful entrepreneur, talking about how following your passion can also lead to the fortune you desire.
2. Wait for help
Obviously we’re not talking about help as in a 911 emergency. We’re talking about help with success, a financial situation, or changing your life. Many people wait for someone to give them that “big break” when they should be seeking it out. You have to meet destiny halfway.
3. Settle
You should never have a set of goals that once you achieve you’re going to settle down and not pursue any more. You will always need a list of big goals to achieve or your life will lose reason, purpose, and it will be difficult to even get up every morning.
4. Say you don’t have time for your goals
This is the saddest excuse of them all. It’s like saying you don’t have time for your future or time to live. I don’t care what responsibilities you have on your plate, you can and you need to find time.
5. Crush someone’s hopes and dreams
Many can brush off the naysayers but others need as much encouragement as they can. Don’t ever mark someone’s dreams as unrealistic. Their dreams are just as possible as yours.
6. Try to erase your past
All of us go through things in our lives which we would love to forget. But if we did we would be complete fools. It would be like taking years of education from our memory. Remembering and looking back to your past will help you piece together your present and align your future.
7. Think that success happens overnight
This is one of the biggest success myths. Success never happens overnight. Even when someone is voted the next American Idol, it may seem like instant success, but they’ve been working on their music for years, otherwise they wouldn’t be that good.
8. Take every piece of advice to heart
You don’t have to believe all the advice given in this article or any others here on Lyved. The same goes for the rest of your life as well. If you really thought about and believed every tidbit of advice dispensed to you, you’d be giving in to the naysayers.
9. Quit while you’re ahead
Why would you ever quit while you’re ahead of the competition? If anything, work just as hard or even harder to maintain your lead.
10. Strive to be perfect
There really is no such thing as “perfect.” If you’re perfect, you’re basically dead. There’s nothing else to live for.
11. Live in mediocrity
No one should live in obscurity and leave this world without leaving their mark. You don’t have to be celebrity famous, but you must leave a positive impact on people. Even if it’s just one person, you’ll change the world.
12. Be “normal”
This goes along with mediocrity. Why would you want to be normal and fit in? Stand out and be different. Be a red ant in a crowd of black ants.
13. Change your views to please others
Be true to yourself. Never go against what you believe in just to make others happy.
14. Plan more than you act
Planning is necessary to set yourself on the right track but it’s action that gets you results.
15. Expect to get something you’ve never had by doing what you’ve always done
This is one of the simplest and most powerful quotes ever:
“If you want something you’ve never had before, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done before.” - Drina Reed
You’ve read the lists that compiled the 50 or 100 places and things you must see and do before you die.
These lists are great for reminding you how short life is and for showing you what you’re missing.
This list is a little different; it compiles 50 things to say before you die.
Why such a list? Because you’d be surprised how little people express their selves and say what they need to say to those who matter. You don’t want to be on your deathbed before you utter these words.
You need to say these at the appropriate times and with true meaning behind them. Reading them now does not count.
1. Thanks for everything you’ve done. – Say it to your mother, father, grandmother, or sister; whoever deserves it. Say it when it’s least expected and when it will make the most impact.
2. You’ve changed my life.
3. I need you.
4. I’ve only got one life to live. - This will give you tremendous motivation.
5. Nothing can stop me.
6. I love my life.
7. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.
8. I can change the world.
9. I will change the world.
10. I have changed the world.
11. I’m rich without money.
12. I’m doing what I was meant to do.
13. I conquered my biggest fear.
14. Glad to help you.
15. I have all the money I need.
16. I don’t care what people think.
17. I’m honest.
18. I’m going for it!
19. I’m proud of myself.
20. I’ve failed.
21. I’ve learned from my failures.
22. I have no regrets. – Many people believe everything happens for a reason. So why would you have any regrets?
23. I don’t like my life – Of course it’s a bad thing to say. But once you’ve acknowledged that you don’t like your life you can now begin to change it.
24. I’ve never had more fun in my life.
25. You hurt me.
26. There’s more to life than this.
27. I love you no matter what.
28. I’ve accomplished a lot.
29. You’ve been successful.
30. I’m listening. – Sometimes it’s more important to listen than to talk.
31. I’m here for you.
32. Words can’t describe the way I feel.
33. I’m not giving up.
34. I don’t have any worries.
35. There is no place like home.
36. It was a pleasure to talk to you.
37. I have all the time in the world.
38. I need a hand.
39. You’re my best friend.
40. I’m glad you were here.
41. I’m just gonna go for it.
42. I can’t thank you enough.
43. I’m trusting my gut.
44. I follow my own path.
45. What a wonderful world.
46. I take full responsibility. - Own up to your mistakes, people will respect you.
47. I’m not sorry. – There are times when you shouldn’t be sorry.
48. I came, I saw, I conquered.
49. I haven’t said enough.
50. I’m not afraid.
Share anything else in the comments below you think is important to for people to say in their lifetime.
“Just do it.” Three simple words that are simply powerful.
Nike made this phrase famous, but it’s not just a marketing gimmick. All you need is to “just do it” and you will reach a crucial tipping point in which you will go from saying and planning; to doing and proving.
It’s pretty scary to take a plunge into something like “just do it” implies. But here is how you go about it.
Don’t pick a time or day
“Just doing it” shouldn’t be precise; it should come to you out of the blue. There’s no need to pick a day or plan ahead.
Get pissed, get frustrated
I’ll be honest; I’m pissed and frustrated as I write this article right now. But it’s giving me an unbelievable amount of motivation, and even a little adrenaline to go for it.
Instead of fighting, crying, or complaining when you’re frustrated, funnel that energy into focus and action.
Remember that time’s a wastin’
Every month, week, day, hour, and minute you get closer to your end. Nothing will motivate you more to live than death.
Think less, act more
It might be risky, it might get you in trouble, but you must act more than you think. Forget the “what if’s.” F**K all the naysayers and whatever they tell you! Don’t worry if you fail. Don’t think about the money you’ll lose or gain. Be a little stupid and take a lot of action.
Lose these words and phrases
These aren’t real excuses.
“I can’t.”
“I don’t have enough money.”
You don’t need money to take the plunge.
“I don’t have enough time.”
Yes you do! I don’t care how busy you are. You don’t have enough time to wait.
“I don’t know where to start.”
“I don’t know how.”
Start learning. Get your feet wet and you’ll learn along the way.
“Later.”
No, now!
Stop acting like you’re busy
There are a lot of people out there who push papers around and act like they have so many places to go and so much to do. In reality, they’re just avoiding the actions that will get them what they really desire. May be it is because they’re scared or doubtful.
I don’t care who you are; you have time to “just do it” and chase something you want or need. You’ll just have to get less sleep, lose free time, and make lots of other sacrifices.
Know when you’re reaching your tipping point
One of the biggest obstacles keeping people from “just doing it” is not recognizing when they’re about to hit their tipping point.
If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “is this all there is to life?”, then you are closely approaching your tipping point. The same goes if you feel like you’re about to have a nervous breakdown.
You can either succumb to your emotions; or you can stand up, fight, and just go for whatever will make you happy. Once you cross the threshold towards your tipping point, your mind will never be the same and nothing can ever stop you; except yourself.
List what you don’t like about your life
Perhaps it is focusing on negativity a little too much; but grab a piece of paper and write down what you don’t like about your life. May be you don’t have enough money or worse you aren’t happy enough. For those who really want change, it’s enough for them to take the plunge.
Keep in mind:
“Just do it” is much easier said than done. And it should be that way. It separates the people who deserve it from those who don’t.
So what are you waiting for? Get to it! Close your browser window, turn off the tv, put down the book or magazine and get going!
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which his parents created for him. Throughout the film, Jack’s character Robert Dupea doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to do with his life. He keeps running from his fears, his family, and from his past.
When we create life lists we always think of the things we desire to do. But we don’t spend enough time or anytime at all, thinking about the things we shouldn’t do in our lives.
You’ve read the lists that compiled the 50 or 100 places and things you must see and do before you die.
“Just do it.” Three simple words that are simply powerful.