This is the only type of hangover you should ever experience. It’s positive and you, as well as those around you, can benefit from it. It’s a happiness hangover.
A happiness hangover is when joy and happiness remains with you even through the most difficult of times. It may be the perfect cure for the recession depression that many people are experiencing.
So how does one experience a happiness hangover?
It’ll take a lot of persistence, but it should also be a lot of fun.
The first way to bring yourself joy is to bring back old memories. We all know this. But take it a step further.
Grab yourself a piece of paper and write down short sentences describing fun events that you’ve experienced. Also consider writing down:
- The funny nicknames that you or your friends have
- Embarrassing moments that now make you laugh
- Even episodes of your favorite comedy or sitcom
Keep the paper close by so that whenever you get annoyed or in a negative mood, you can quickly glance over what you wrote. And hopefully something will make you smile and laugh or just break the negativity, even you can’t manage to laugh.
When looking back, you don’t have to concentrate solely on 10 or 20 years ago. May be something happy happened a few weeks or days ago. These events might actually make you laugh even more since they’re so fresh.
After reflecting, it’s time to fast-forward.
Think about the future and similar events that you will experience which will create more good times and new memories. Perhaps it’s another day trip you’d like to take or a new concert you want to see, or a new restaurant to try.
If you really want to get the wheels in motion, start planning those future outings. Pick a date, a destination, book a hotel room if it’s a trip, and do some research on things to do.
Don’t wait to be happy
Too many people think that they’ve got to wait until they have a big house, lots of money, and the things that they want to be happy. This misconception is only growing stronger in this economy.
You can’t expect a new location or more money to keep you happy for long. It might make you happy in the beginning, but that feeling will eventually wear off. Then you’re left as the person you were without money or from the old location.
Have fun with your situation
This can be one of the most powerful ways to get you through tough times.
You’ve got to be able to laugh at the situation you’re in; otherwise you’ll go insane and never triumph over it.
This, for my family and myself, was what got us through. We lived in a one bedroom apartment for more than 10 years. It was all that we could afford and it was frustrating at times. Yet we also laughed at it and because of this we have many great memories.
Remember that opportunities are lost…
…when you aren’t positive and happy.
This quote by Herman Cain sums it up perfectly:
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.”
You need to be in the right frame of mind to grab opportunities by their horns.
Do you have any ways to keep yourself happy and to keep memories alive? If so, please share in the comment section below.
Hope is a powerful force. It’s often the last thread that holds people from falling apart, it keeps people going when no end seems in sight, and it keeps people living when they think they have nothing.
Hope is much more different than wishful thinking. It’s wholehearted and it is unbreakable.
So how do you plant the grape seeds of hope, pick and enjoy the grapes, and keep them on your plate?
Well, it takes a lot of work:
Planting & growing hope
The first thing you need to do is prepare the land which your hope grapes will grow from. This land is your mind.
One of the most common ways to prepare your land is to look at others who have faced similar or worse obstacles than you and have triumphed over them.
Some recommendations are the life stories of Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, Elie Wiesel, Chris Gardner, Randy Pausch, and Nelson Mandela.
The stories of these individuals and others like them, will get your mind thinking and realizing the true power of hope.
Another crucial preparation for the soil in your mind is to NOT remove the tough spots; the rocks, pebbles, and the sand.
Grapes grow best in tough soil that is full of sand and rocks. The grapes of hope will also grow stronger from difficulties.
You never want to erase the past from your mind, even the most difficult times you’ve been through. The strength of your hope is measured during them and you can draw new hope for the present when thinking to the past.
When looking to the tough spots of yesterday, identify the biggest obstacles you’ve ever faced and think of:
- How you overcame the obstacle.
- What kept you happy during the time.
- How long you had to endure the obstacle.
- The positive effects that came from the obstacle.
- Who helped you through the time.
- How your current obstacle(s) compares with your past ones, is it harder or easier?
As you continue to read the past of others and reflect on your own, hope will begin to creep in your mind.
But now it’s time to get your hopes up.
One of the worst things to say is, “don’t get your hopes up.” People mean well when they say it. They want to protect others from the tough feelings that one experiences when something isn’t fulfilled. However, when all someone has to live on is hope, their crushing their driving force and their dreams.
I’m sure you’ve had someone do this to you. Perhaps they didn’t directly say, “don’t get your hopes up,” but they expressed their doubts.
So the most important tip regarding getting your hopes up is knowing how to recover when something doesn’t pan out.
- Remind yourself that everything happens for a reason
I’m a firm believer in this; that every obstacle and unfulfilled dream has a lesson to teach or something important to give us.
- Tell yourself it wasn’t meant to be this time
But that you WILL achieve what it is you desire. It’s not a question of “if” but “when.”
- Change your approach
When something doesn’t happen when your hopes are up don’t abandoned the dream. What should change, is your approach and your plan.
Now that your hope grapes are beginning to grow stronger, it’s time to pick them from the vine and learn how to keep them on your plate.
Picking and keep your hope grapes
Picking your hope grapes is not as literal as it sounds. It means how you’re going to harness the power of grapes of hope to achieve what you desire.
The greatest friend to hope is action. When someone hopes to achieve something but doesn’t take any steps towards it, yet they expect it to fall in their lap. That isn’t hope, it is more of a wish.
Hope is fuel for action. When you have no motivation left in you, hope remains and reminds you of what you desire.
Action needs to be taken EVERY DAY. There are seriously NO excuses. It can even be a step that takes 5 to 10 minutes.
Along with taking action every day, you must think about your dreams EVERY DAY. It keeps your hope fed and prevents your mind from wandering.
Keeping hope on your plate doesn’t mean your breakfast plate; it means your plate of life. People seem to lose hope most when “reality” kicks in and the grapes fall from their plate because there’s no room.
But when “reality” hits it’s the time we need hope the most. Hope is hardly needed when things are running smoothly.
An easy thing you can do to keep hope is to again look at others. This time, compare your biggest obstacles to those in worse situations.
I doubt that the wall you’re facing is anything compared to the fences of the concentration camps Elie Wiesel had to face.
Your hope will grow stronger when you realize your obstacles are actually very small.
Another way to fight back “reality” is to have a little dose of denial. Refuse to accept the truth from time to time. There’s a great quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes that says, “One’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” Once you’ve got a strong desire for a goal, you shouldn’t rest until it is achieved.
Always remind yourself of the times you and others gave up too early. So often people take 99 steps toward a goal and then quit before taking the 100th step. And if they had taken that 100th step things would have gotten a lot brighter.
Be sure to also not spread your hope too thin. Reserve it for your biggest and most important dreams. Focus hope’s energy and it will benefit you so much more.
Also remember: When all you have is hope, you have everything.
Have any other tips for planting, growing, picking, or keeping the grapes of hope? Please share in the comments below.
The seven deadly sins were made famous by Dante Alighieri in his epic poem “The Divine Comedy.”
The seven sins are lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride.
Dante listed them to keep people in line and on the right path during the 1300’s.
Many people still avoid the temptations of these sins today, but now there are more “deadly” sins to avoid.
1. Waiting to be happy
One of the biggest misconceptions ever is that once you’re successful, once you own a house, when you have a lot of money, or once you’re retired, you’ll finally be happy.
But the truth is, you need happiness to achieve all of that in the first place.
There’s an excellent text by Crystal Boyd from her book “Happiness is a Journey.” It reminds readers to not wait to be happy. And she does so in a really profound way that everyone can relate to. I recommend you read the text. You can do so here: http://www.crystalboyd.com/
Remember, the longer you wait to be happy the less time you’ll actually have to be happy.
2. Achieving success without helping others
If you truly want to be successful then you can’t focus your entire efforts on yourself. You must help other people achieve their goals and their own success.
There’s an old saying that the road to success is lonely, but it won’t be when you help others.
3. Belittling the dreams of others
Your dreams aren’t superior to any other person’s dreams.
4. Complacency
It’s one thing to be satisfied with what you have, but it’s another story when you’ve completely settled.
When you settle and don’t create any new dreams to go after, you’ve basically given up.
5. Not questioning
One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves is to question our lives and things in it as much as possible.
Questions like:
- Why me?
- Why not me?
- Do I really love what I’m doing?
We don’t need to have the answers right away, but we must keep thinking.
6. Not attempting to change the world
Changing the world is not as hard as it may seem. Even if you change the community and world around you, you’re doing a lot. Simple acts can create drastic change.
7. Fearing
The whole point of the original seven deadly sins was to instill fear in people. But living in fear isn’t living.
Even if you’ve committed some of these sins don’t fear; acknowledging you’ve done so is all the forgiveness you need.
There could be countless more sins. Have any sins you’d like to share? Are you or were you guilty of any of these sins? Please share in the comments below.
Cape Fear. It’s not only a physical place in North Carolina and a movie by Martin Scorsese, but it’s an imaginary place we create in our minds. It has treacherous waters on three sides and our biggest fears blocking our only route out.
On the other side of these fears is everything we desire; from our dream job to immense success to happiness. So how do we get to the other side? We need to escape!
Here are 9 ways to go about it and not let fear stop you.
1. Understand that fear is your greatest obstacle
Not the lack of knowledge, money, success, or the circumstances you’re facing can stop you from achieving what you desire like fear. Fear not only stops you, but it paralyzes you.
What’s great is that YOU create your fears, so YOU can beat them.
2. Laugh
If you can make fun of yourself and make others laugh during a nerve-racking experience, fear basically disappears. And if you think about it, laughter is more powerful than fear. It can change lives and bring people together.
3. Face fear directly
How do you achieve success?
You face the hard work and persistence it takes to get there.
How do you get over your past?
You face your memories.
So how do you overcome fear?
You’ve got to stare it right in the face and smell its stinky breath.
How do you stare fear in its face? There’s no clear cut way to do it. It varies so much because of different situations. But the most common instance when one needs to face fear is during a desperate moment. Moments when you’re either going to make it or break it. These times are often difficult to plan for.
However, you’ll know when you need to face fear right at eye level. It’s a personal experience and no one can tell you when and how to really do it.
4. Know that fear means you’re doing new things
If you want the same ol’, you do the same ol’. But if you want to change something in your life, you must try and do new things. Doing things you’ve never done in your life will produce fear.
So if you’re fearful, you might actually be on a good path.
5. Don’t tell others you’re scared
You might not completely agree with this, but don’t always tell other people that you’re scared or fearful of something. When you do, you give yourself permission to display your nervousness and fears, and you set yourself up to make mistakes.
There are plenty of ways to relieve your nerves and stress without you directly telling others. Stretching and deep breaths can help.
6. Compare the fear with your end result
When confronted with a fear take a few moments and compare the fear with the end result on the other side.
Is the time and energy you put into the fear worth destroying your dreams, goals, successes, and hard work you put in? I highly doubt it. Realizing this will push you to just go for it!
7. Acknowledge that fear exists for a reason
Not only does having fear mean that you’re human and not a robot, but fear is also one of those necessary obstacles that separates those who want something from those who have a burning desire for that same something.
If there was no fear every single person in this world would be hugely successful.
8. Think back
Think back to a time or times when you let fear get the best of you. What did you miss out on? What opportunities passed you by?
Don’t get frustrated with your past mistakes, but don’t allow fear to force you to repeat them.
9. Remind yourself that you’ve got one shot!
Life doesn’t last for very long. We need to remind ourselves of this all the time.
“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.” – Søren Aaby Kierkegaard
Have you ever experienced an event in your life that seems to make absolutely no sense?
Sure you have; we all have. They’re usually the “why me?” moments. You don’t see the value in them until you look back long after they occur. By then, it may be too late to benefit from the events.
In the film, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; which releases on Christmas day, the main character lives his life backwards. The film is adapted from an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story of the same name; it stars Brad Pitt as Benjamin.
When Ben is born, he is crippled and already in his eighties. However, as he grows “older” he actually becomes younger. This gives him the unique opportunity to see and understand why certain events and circumstances happen in life.
Here is the trailer (be forewarned: the trailer gives a lot of the movie plot away)
Now imagine you could be like Benjamin Button and understand the purpose of everything that happens in your life. The happy moments and the sad, the tragic and scary, the embarrassing, and the moments that are difficult. Imagine…
You would be in the right frame of mind in every situation, your wisdom would grow, and your worries would be laid to rest.
You may not be able to grow younger but you don’t have to wait until you’re old and bedbound to look back. You can understand your past, no matter what age you are now. It’ll help you make sense of today and move you into a new direction tomorrow.
Here is how you can live backwards like Benjamin Button
Sometimes, all we need to do is dissect an event and pull out all negative and positive sides. It’s human nature to “erase” memories from our minds, but it’s not always the right thing to do. You shouldn’t live in the past though. This article is only to help you visit your past as a temporary state.
First, grab yourself a few pieces of paper and a pen, or open a document on your computer. You can also do this in your mind if you wish, but you won’t get the same results.
Now, start off by writing down the events you actually understand why they occurred. Take your time and think back as many years as possible. The events could have produced positive or negative results, but try to stick with the good.
After that, start writing down events and past circumstances that make no sense as to why they occurred. Even jot down the little events, like embarrassing moments. Though they’re small, they can yield large outcomes.
Take the events you just wrote down and compile a list of the pros and cons of the occurrence. Here are a few things to think about:
What you’ve learned
- About others & yourself
- Any facts
- How something works
How it made you feel
What you’ve lost
- Money
- Friends
- Or perhaps nothing significant
Think of the others who were affected
- How the event affected them
- What they lost and gained
After taking the time to do this, it won’t be that long before you understand why the events occurred.
Thinking farther down the road, it’s time to reflect on your destiny. What is it that you want to do? Do you want to be an entrepreneur, teacher, singer, author, actor, social worker, or something else?
Now if you’d like, create another list with the events you now understand, but add more of the ones you still don’t get. Then write down in short sentences or in bulleted form, how the events and circumstances can help you achieve your destiny.
For instance, say I wanted to be an entrepreneur. Here are some possible events and circumstances; and how they could contribute to my goal:
I grew up poor
- It has taught me to be resourceful and grateful for what I have.
My father deserted my family
- Taught me I can’t rely on others, I must be self-sufficient.
I had a learning disability
- Forced me to teach myself and learn from books.
- Forced me to work twice as hard.
If you can’t think of how a circumstance or event can benefit your goal, then you aren’t thinking hard enough. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens without a purpose.
What to do right after a major event occurs in your life
When your life is struck with a difficult event, first; give yourself some time. Maybe a few days, a week; but a month at the most. You don’t want to linger too long in a frozen moment.
After your emotions have settled, grab your journal or some paper. Write down the major event, and the other circumstances brought on by it.
Now, write down different time periods; 6 months from now, a year from now, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years from now, and the rest of your life.
Then, do the same procedure as before. Write down how you can benefit from the event and how your goal can be achieved because of it.
For instance, say my job was eliminated and now I’m unemployed. And I still want to become an entrepreneur.
Laid off from job
6 months
- I have more time to develop business ideas.
- It’s a do or die situation. Little money means being resourceful and creativity are a necessity.
2 years from now
- I learned that I can’t rely on others for financial security. No turning back to a 9 to 5.
10 years from now
- When I succeed, being fired will be the greatest thing to ever happen to me.
Even after doing this there will be some positive results you won’t be able to foresee. It’s something we can’t change, but it makes life interesting.
A few more tips
- If you’re having trouble remembering events, break down each year of your life. From around your birth date all the way to this year. Or group your life into childhood, teens, twenties, etc.
- Take your time! This is not meant to be a quick reflection on your past.
- Ask family members about your past. There are things you won’t be able to remember but they might.
- If you wrote a diary when you were younger, try to find it and start reading.
- Also check out old photo albums. They’ll bring back memories.
That’s the basics of living life backwards like Benjamin Button. Feel free to explore other ways to learn and grow from your past. If you think of anything interesting, please share in the comments below.
On Lyved (pronounced lived), you will find articles on various aspects of life. Every post is positive, motivating, and offers tips on how you can improve your life and change the world. To learn more about Lyved please visit here.
This is the only type of hangover you should ever experience. It’s positive and you, as well as those around you, can benefit from it. It’s a happiness hangover.
Hope is a powerful force. It’s often the last thread that holds people from falling apart, it keeps people going when no end seems in sight, and it keeps people living when they think they have nothing.
The seven deadly sins were made famous by Dante Alighieri in his epic poem “The Divine Comedy.”
Cape Fear. It’s not only a physical place in North Carolina and a movie by Martin Scorsese, but it’s an imaginary place we create in our minds. It has treacherous waters on three sides and our biggest fears blocking our only route out.
