How do you describe darkness like that when you see it all the time—even when your eyes are open—in front of you, behind you, beside you, above you, below you, and when you feel it is inside of you, filling your lungs, stomach, and heart and oozing from every pore of your body? It is very difficult to articulate that sight and those feelings.
That is the situation a person who is struggling with depression finds themselves in. They are reluctant to reach out from the darkness for help because few in the light are willing and able to understand and reach in to depression’s intangible darkness to help.
To bridge these two sides, there needs to be someone who can piece together the sight and the feelings of the darkness with words which can light the way out and back into the brightness for those struggling, and light the way in to the darkness for those who want to understand and help.
William Styron was, and still is, one of those bearers of such light. William is regarded as one of America’s greatest novelists, having written such novels as Lie Down in Darkness, The Confessions of Nat Turner—winner of the 1967 Pulitzer Prize—and Sophie’s Choice. Despite early and tremendous success—he published his first novel Lie Down in Darkness at just 26 years old—William battled depression on and off during his lifetime. Instead of keeping it hidden, he became very open about it and in 1990, at age 65, published a memoir called Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness. With his openness and sincerity he helped facilitate a conversation between readers who have faced depression and others who haven’t. (Sources for William Styron’s biographical information: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/02/books/02styron.html?pagewanted=all and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Styron)
William died in 2006, at age 81, but his legacy lives on in his groundbreaking novels and honest memoir. Today, Darkness Visible, along with his other books are available in ebook format from Open Road Media and available at the following links (no links below are Lyved.com affiliate links) if you are someone who has seen and lived the darkness or someone who wants to understand it better:
To learn more about William, please watch the video below where psychologist Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison describes working with him. And please visit William’s page on Open Road Media’s website here.
Full disclosure: I was offered a free ebook review copy of Darkness Visible by Open Road Media
* Edited to reflect more proper citation of biographical information.
In recent years, months, but especially in recent weeks, there have been visible, loud, and frightening events of hate-fueled attacks, hate mongering, bullying that has led to young suicides and general insensitivity and intolerance towards those who are different in this country.
Ideally America is supposed to be a nation of people who are “different” and welcomed despite it and because if it. Yet, still in 2010, we’re a long way off.
We will get there, or at the very least to a place where the bigots and hate mongers are the minority. We will get there because we must reach this point or our country will continue not work correctly.
So how can we move forward to reach this place? And what causes so much of this intolerance and hatred?
It starts at home. It starts small. Both the hatred and the love.
It starts with a little seed planted in the thoughts of those around you; your loved ones, your family members, especially the young.
For hatred, the seed can be a quick, seemingly harmless, joke or remark about an overweight person, a gay person, someone of another faith, or anyone different. At first it might seem like it isn’t going to amount to much, as if the seed isn’t going to grow. But the seed is very much alive. It toils in the soil of the mind. And eventually as the receiver of the seed changes and grows, the seed flourishes and blooms into a strong, deceivingly-beautiful flower of hate and intolerance.
This is when terrible things happen. People are pushed into depression, where it seems like the only escape is suicide. People feel they can’t be who they really are. Dreams are lost and purposely shattered. And the foundation of our nation cracks.
But hope is not lost.
Replace the soil of one’s mind with a different seed, a seed of positive, simple, kind gestures, acceptance, and most importantly love.
And the bloom will be of true beauty.
People will be brought back from the brink and be able to live happily as they are. Dreams will be achieved and our nation will be strengthened.
A number of my relatives died decades too soon because of polycystic kidney disease, or PKD. People with this condition grow cysts, or pockets of fluid, throughout their kidneys, ultimately preventing them from cleaning the blood. In 2003 complications of PKD took my cousin and good friend Mike Brazell at the age of 35, leaving two young children behind. Mike’s father, my Uncle Dick, affectionately known as Poppy, succumbed to PKD a few years later. I inherited PKD from my dad, as did two of my siblings; at least three of our cousins have it, too. A dominant gene causes PKD, so when someone with PKD has children, each child has a 50% chance of inheriting it.
For years I avoided thinking about PKD (this article from a few weeks ago quotes me on that subject: http://bit.ly/acZXO4), but when we lost Mike, I decided to help fight it. I donate money each month to the PKD Foundation (www.pkdcure.org) and serve on its board, as we help the staff follow the most promising paths to a cure. I learn as much as I can about how proper diet and exercise can slow PKD’s progression, practice those habits, and share the info with the hundreds of people I know who also have it. (Although little-known, PKD is far more common than cystic fibrosis, sickle cell anemia, Down syndrome, Huntington’s disease, muscular dystrophy, and hemophilia combined. The humorist Erma Bombeck died of it, the playwright Neil Simon lives with it, and former Today Show fashion maven Steven Cojocaru has already needed two kidney transplants to keep going. I know of two other public figures who remain in the closet, and there are undoubtedly others.) For four years I’ve taken an experimental drug that shows a lot of promise. And each fall, dressed as Kenny the Kidney, I walk as the captain of “Mike & Poppy’s All-Stars,” raising far more money from friends than I can afford to donate on my own. I’m writing to ask you to please add your own quick effort to this fight. We’re very close to a successful treatment. You can help get us over the hump.
Last year’s TriState Walk for PKD, on October 25th, was the single biggest event the PKD Foundation has held in its 27-year history, bringing in more than $270,000. That would be fantastic in any economy, but particularly in this one. Eleven days after last year’s Walk, my lovely wife Victoria gave birth to our delightful daughter Genevieve, whose arrival gives us two new reasons to Walk: (1) We obviously want to make sure that if she inherited PKD from her old man, it will never trouble her, and (2) We’d like to ensure that she has more time on Earth with her old man than her old man had with his old man.
If you can help, please consider giving a donation at my fundraising page: http://www.pkdcure.org/kenny . And if you do make a donation please put “Lyved” as your middle name so that we can know that you’re a fellow Lyved.com reader.
Thanks so much!
Written by Bill Brazell
To learn more about Bill Brazell’s effort to raise awareness and funds for a cure for PKD please visit: http://www.kennythekidney.com/
A young flawed American looking, as I’ve done in the past, to America for guidance, for acceptance, and for strengthened hope.
But what now reflects back into my eyes, mirrors anything but.
It’s an America more flawed than I. An America covering her flaws in a veil. A veil threaded and woven with ignorance and fear for certain groups of her people.
In the past she knitted and wore this veil, only to realize how out of fashion it was.
But in these times of certain uncertainty, she is wearing it again.
Her ignorance and fear is for those who want to enjoy her for what makes her unique, what makes her America. Life, liberty, and happiness.
People who want the right to marry who they love.
People who are trying to pursue a better existence.
And those who are trying to practice their religious freedom.
These three groups of people are exactly who America was created for. But this fact gets lost in the fear.
The fears that same-sex couples will somehow destroy love and marriage for straight couples and American families.
The fears that immigrants are going to come and steal valuable jobs from Americans who truly deserve them.
And the fears that allowing an Islamic community center to be built near the New York City September 11th attack site means that terrorists have won their war and that this will breed more terrorists.
The exact opposites are true.
Same-sex couples aren’t going to destroy the sanctity of love and marriage. They’re going to strengthen it. They’ve been denied it for so long that when they are given the right to marry; they’ll truly understand its worth. And their families will be strong, based on love that’s been tested.
A Mexican immigrant is not going to cross the border and steal the job you have or the job you want. He or she is going to work the lowest-paying, most degrading, and back-breaking job that you can’t even think of, let alone have or are trying to get.
And an Islamic center near Ground Zero isn’t going to breed terrorists. Forcing it to move and showing America to be intolerant of Muslims has a much greater chance of doing so.
Though what I hear and see in the actions and words of many Americans right now is frustrating and disappointing; I’m also excited. Excited for the near future when the veil begins to wear and tear with holes and lose its style.
The guidance, acceptance, and strengthened hope I’ve been looking for in older America may not be there, but that’s because I think I might be looking in the wrong place. Perhaps my generation is where I should be looking.
Generation Y, we’ve been insulted, made fun of, criticized, and branded as spoiled, inconsiderate, and unmotivated since we were born. Now is our time to look to America and guide those who are wrong and right, to accept those who are being alienated, and to strengthen the hope for America’s future.
1. Pick a college and a major by the time you’re a senior in high school.
2. Graduate high school.
3. Go to college for four years.
4. Graduate college with a degree in the subject you’ve majored in and are passionate about.
5. Go out in the real world and find a job in your field.
6. Live happily and fulfilled…
Sounds good on paper, right? Well how many of us can choose what we want to do with the rest of our lives when we’re in our teens or early twenties? Not many. But unfortunately the system is set up for the few.
So what is one to do to keep from getting stuck in a job they hate and to find what drives them and what they’d enjoy for the rest of their life? Perhaps you could take a year and work a different job in a different field every week, for 52 weeks?
Sound unrealistic? Well Sean Aiken did just that.
In 2005, Sean Aiken graduated college with a degree in Business Administration, but he didn’t really know what he wanted to do with his life. Instead of just accepting it, getting a job in a cubicle, and “living” his life; Sean set out on a unique journey. A journey in search of passion instead of a career. He called his journey “The One Week Job Project.”
Here’s a video clip from The One Week Job Project website that describes the idea.
Sean, along with his friends, produced a documentary of the project and Sean has just released a book telling the journey entitled The One-Week Job Project: 1 Man, 1 Year, 52 Jobs.
Sean has graciously given Lyved the opportunity to ask him a few questions about this project and passion.
What advice do you have for those who can’t make a living out of their passion?
I learned that we don’t necessarily need to make a living out of our passion in order to be happy at work – there are many other factors that contribute to our job satisfaction. When I asked my coworkers what they liked most about their job, the common answer I heard was the people they worked with. It wasn’t so important what they were doing, or if it was their passion, but far more important was who they were doing it with.
Another factor I observed was that those who were the happiest in their careers were the ones who had a vision of how they were contributing to something greater than themselves. It mattered that they showed up to work each day because they contributed something valuable, and something was made better because of their work. For example, I worked on an organic dairy farm with a guy named George. The job demands long hours, very hard work, early mornings – after a couple of days I thought, “How can anyone enjoy this job?” But George seemed to love it. To George, he was providing food for thousands of people while contributing to the environment with his organic farming practices. He understood the significance of his job and that’s where he derived his job satisfaction.
I’d say if you can’t make a living out of your passion look for other ways in which you can fulfill your passion outside of work. I think it’s important to take a good look at your passion and think about different ways in which it could be fulfilled at work. For Week 22, I was a Radio DJ. On my last day I sat down with the radio station’s program director, Scott. I asked Scott, “How did you get involved in Radio. Did you always know that this is what you wanted to do?”
He said, “If you ask most people in radio where they started out, we’re all kind of failed musicians really. Truthfully we’d rather be the people making the music, but to be involved in music in some way, that’s where the passion lies.”
Even though Scott is not what he originally thought he wanted to be as a rock star, he loves his job. He still works in the same industry, deals with the same people, and is still able to cultivate his passion for music. We can’t all be rock stars, but it doesn’t mean we have to end up in a completely unrelated field – maybe we’d be just as happy being the person who hands the rock star their guitar.
The economy has changed a lot since you started this project in 2007. Do you think young people are forgetting about passion and are just finding any job that pays enough because of the current economy?
I think that a lot of young people don’t realize that it takes a lot of work to find a career you’re passionate about and still earn enough money to pay the bills, especially in today’s economy. There’s no problem with taking a job to pay the bills, the important thing is to not lose sight of where you’re heading, to continue developing your skills, and taking steps toward achieving the job that best suits you. I heard many stories over my year of people who took jobs for various reason, sometimes financial, and then 10 years later they realized that they are still in the same position that was supposed to be “temporary” and they’d lost sight of their original career goals.
Most college graduates have a ton of student loan debt, so do you have any tips on how they can find a balance where they can explore their passions but also earn some money to pay back their debts?
I think it’s more important to uncover the characteristics you need in a career to be happy then it is to uncover your passion. We do this through gaining experience, so merely by entering the work force we start to learn about the things that we like to do, the things that we are good, become more valuable to a future employer, and begin to pay back those nagging student debts.
What advice do you have for parents that aren’t too sure about their daughter or son trying to make a living out of their passion and by blazing their own trail?
Leave them alone. Support their decision. I think if someone has a genuine desire to pursue their passion, blaze their own trail, and yet they don’t go after it whole heartedly at some point in their life, they will undoubtedly experience a pang of regret. The younger we are when we do this the better.
Trying a bunch of things that seem interesting is probably one of the best ways to find a passion because of the hands-on experience. However, not everyone can try 52 jobs. So are their some other ways that people can find new passions?
Continue to develop your self-knowledge, try new things, volunteer, speak to people in different professions that interest you…
Even though you’re tried 52 different jobs, are there any more you’d like to try?
By the end of the year I had a lot of different offers, but I’m happy with the ones I chose. There was one job offer with bestselling author Seth Godin that I wish I was able to accept, but unfortunately the logistics didn’t work in my favor.
What kind of criticism have you been faced with during this project and how have you reacted and kept going?
I’ve received some cynicism towards the project but I try and remember that any unjustified criticism is likely rooted in their unhappiness with their current situation, and that it has nothing to do with me. I know why I’m doing what I’m doing and that’s all that matters – if people are able to learn as a result of me sharing my experience, great, if not, then that’s okay too.
Of the 52 jobs you did, what was the most nerve-wracking and why?
Yoga Instructor. I’d never stepped foot inside a yoga studio until that Monday morning, and then to be faced with the challenge of teaching class the Friday was extremely nerve-wracking. I attended 6 hours of classes a day, sometimes participating, sometimes taking notes about the instructor’s techniques, and then stood up and taught my first class on Friday. Very nerve-wracking, yet also very rewarding.
So Sean, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?
You’ll have to read the book to find out!
It’s called The One-Week Job Project: 1 Man, 1 Year, 52 Jobs, published May 4, 2010 by Random House.
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The project is ambitious, exciting, and inspiring. I recommend that you please check out The One-Week Job Project book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, IndieBound, or Random House. And please connect with Sean, on The One Week Job Facebook page and by following him on Twitter.
On Lyved (pronounced lived), you will find articles on various aspects of life. Every post is positive, motivating, and offers tips on how you can improve your life and change the world. To learn more about Lyved please visit here.
This is a guest post.
Written by Bill Brazell
Here’s the standard path of young adults today:
