People
This is a guest post.
Three years ago, I was happy, successful and working in a different industry. My associate and long time friend walked into my office and asked me what I thought about creating a Facebook-like social network for the 12 Step recovery community. I sat there for a second and yelled; “YES, of course, let’s do it!” We haven’t looked back since.
That was April 26, 2007 when we began our journey into the social networking world, which is usually inhabited by 20 and 30 something Internet gurus and nerds. My cofounder, Ken Pomerance and myself Ron Tannebaum, are anything but – we are both Baby Boomers, in the 50 something category, or in other words Internet dinosaurs, but that did not deter us.
We chose a great name, no, the best name for a recovery site; In The Rooms. In The Rooms is a term used in all 12 step fellowships (AA, NA, GA, OA, etc.) that helps maintain our anonymity. For example, instead of saying to someone at a party, “Didn’t I see you at an AA or NA meeting” I would say “Don’t I know you from In The Rooms.”
After choosing our name we started developing our vision on a yellow legal pad which quickly transcended onto the back of one of my daughter’s science boards. Our idea and vision came naturally and quickly. Since we both have been in long term recovery for over a quarter of a century, we knew what we would want in a social network for the global recovery community.
In The Rooms was born.
We created a FREE online social network dedicated to the global recovery community for people seeking help, in recovery and their family, friends and allies of recovery worldwide. Our mantra is the acronym HITCH, to Help, Inform, Touch, Connect and Heal. And our mission is to augment or enhance traditional 12 step and other recovery programs by offering a place to not only find like-minded people but also people who share the same interests, passions and hobbies. The site helps connect people with other recovering people around the world, creating a supportive environment and community.
In The Rooms transcends the boundaries of all 12 step fellowships socially, while keeping the integrity intact by having individual groups for each fellowship. For the first time in history, In The Rooms provides social interaction between fellowships not found when attending regularly scheduled meetings. We are actively bringing together members of the global recovery community socially to experience a vast array of tools that can be used to enhance and expand ones recovery, experience and social connectedness. We designed In The Rooms for those not as fortunate as us, who can’t get to a meeting everyday or who need support in places where it’s hard to find or are home bound because of illness. We are not only a lifeline for many but we also save lives.
In the beginnings, In The Rooms world headquarters was my house. We began assembling a team with our limited budget, financed by myself and hired a part time developer and web designer to build a platform and make it look good. Before we began our fund raising we set out to California to meet with some social networking successes to listen and learn.
Ken and I put together a power point presentation that we could take with us on our quest for investors. I think we used the power point once before we realized how boring it was and just started explaining our vision. We let our honesty and passion speak for itself. It worked. The first ten people we presented our business plan wrote us a check and we were on our way to make our dream become a reality.
Ken and I both know from being in recovery to let things happen naturally, and that they did. We were on a spiritual journey toward our number one goal, getting In The Rooms ready for launch. Everything was happening the way it was supposed to happen, one person introduced us to another, one door closed another one opened. For example, we were introduced to a new design team, three wonderful guys who own Macias Advertising in Miami, and they joined our team and created our new In The Rooms logo, look and identity. At about the same time we met an old friend of mine from childhood at a funeral who’s company later became our new tech partner and now In The Rooms was ready to launch. We even eventually moved our offices into the In The Rooms loft.
In The Rooms has been growing ever since. Since our inception and launch on October 6, 2008, In The Rooms has become the number one trafficked recovery based social network in the world with over 80,000 members, in over 50 countries and over 218,000 years of recovery in just 18 months. In The Rooms currently has 18 different 12 Step fellowships represented and there is more to come. We feature a vast speakers tape library, daily meditations, a worldwide meeting list for AA, NA, GA and OA, blogs, forums, discussions, four ways to communicate including private and instant messaging, comments and status updates. In The Rooms has over 1200 affinity groups to choose from or you can start a group of your own that fits your needs.
There is a recovery movement and In The Rooms is leading the way. We want to put a positive face on recovery. Those in recovery are no longer just the person living under the bridge or pushing a grocery cart aimlessly in the streets. We are the moms and dads, aunts and uncles, grandparents, your favorite teachers, judges, doctors, priests, rabbis, ministers, plumbers, lawyers, legislators and your next-door neighbors. Recovery is an asset not a liability.
We look back and compare the recovery movement today to the breast cancer movement 30 years ago when the word cancer was whispered, not spoken aloud. Now where can we go and not see a Pink Ribbon? Those recovering from addiction are responsible members of society and the old myth is dead. Addicts and alcoholics do not have to die from their addictions, we do recover and recovery is an asset not a liability.
Since that day in April 2007 when I made the decision to join Ken and move forward to create In The Rooms, the best recovery site the world had ever seen, my life has made a significant change spiritually. I wake up everyday feeling whole, knowing I am doing something that is good for the global recovering community and humanity at large. I cannot wait to get to our offices, The In The Rooms loft everyday. I have truly found what drives me. It is my passion
for helping others and standing up for what I believe in. I have realized now that my feelings of happiness and fulfillment is an inside job and comes from opening my heart and giving back to others unconditionally. I’m loving every minute of it.
Written By Ron Tannebaum
Please visit us at www.intherooms.com or become a fan on our Facebook page at facebook.com/intherooms or follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/intherooms.
This is a guest post.
Introduction to the everyday role model
Over the course of my studies I was finding myself struggling to find direction; it felt as if I was drifting through my studies with no options available at the end of the line. This feeling did not begin to turn around until I made the decision to open myself up to colleagues at work and tutors in study; as a result I began to look deeper in to their plans for the future.
When I opened up to colleagues conversations became more serious in nature but still felt comfortable as I knew I was taking new steps to learning. This course of action encouraged me to take any available opportunity for self improvement and be engaging in the face of a challenge. This practice resulted in my undertaking of activities including driving lessons, Taijitsu classes, re-energizing the social charity committee at my place of part time work and interviewing peers on their development in aid of my BA project (which in turn inspired this article).
Sharing details about our lives with one other was both pleasant and enlightening. From reflecting on this I came to the conclusion that role models don’t have to be magnificent success stories and inspiration can come from the simple but moving characters we encounter in work, at study or anywhere else. Organizations are rarely more interesting than their people.
Many people live by their life goals; people pursue their career or their hobbies as their way of life. Ambitious people seek ambitious life goals. Inspiration can be found from many sources for those who are willing to accept learning from the examples of others. Everyday role models are people above, level or even below you within your field whose actions and insights inspire you to better yourself.
These role models can be people in situations similar to yourself or in situations you may encounter in the future it’s a matter of applying the lessons they share to your own issues.
Whatever wisdom you seek is widely available if you embrace the examples of your own everyday role models.
What makes a role model
A lot of people see a role model as their source of inspiration; these role models are commonly successful people upholding values similar to your own.
Your everyday role models are not the heroes you aspire to, but they are the people you see day to day living their own lives, each person is a storybook and their lessons have merit for those willing to listen. Your everyday role models can be ordinary people with very simple plans and values; it is in listening to and questioning these simple motivations that you can get deeper in to the mindset of your role model.
What you can learn from a role model
We are encouraged from childhood onward to have role models to look up to, so we can learn from the experiences of others. When applying this thinking to your everyday role models it is likely they have had more experiences and can offer more insights than first meets the eye. It is up to you to engage with and take lessons from these people.
Your role model of choice can act as a source of progress, by imitating their steps to success you have set down a plan to achieve. Role models can also be the ones who grant you direction to begin with, by taking their values to heart. Observing the actions and mindset of your role model allows you to compare yourself with your role model and identify changes that you feel are in order.
Everyday role models are people similar to you; they are your friends, your family and your colleagues. They have their own set of values just like your heroes and they can hold just as much wisdom as well; all that is needed is for you to open the book.
How you can start learning from your everyday role models
The beauty of observing lessons from everyday role models is the simplicity to get out there and start, these people are the people you know and care for the most. See them as an open book not a chest of secrets.
Take these lessons to begin learning from your role models:
- Take time to speak to them – A simple process, don’t be the one who is too busy to stop and talk. When you encounter one of your colleagues take the time to stop and speak to them
- Ask simple questions – These simple questions are all that’s needed to get the ball rolling, these questions are a matter of asking “What’s going on?” or “How are you?” use of simple manners put people at ease and help them open up.
- Be interested – The key to learning anything from these talks is to be attentive to what is being said. Taking an interest allows you to retain the lessons learned better, you will also come across as interested to the other person, and as a result they will feel good engaging with you and be much more open in the future.
How to be an everyday role model to others
Perhaps you admire the simplicity of learning from others and wish to know how to make yourself a better everyday role model to people. The time may come where you step up to leadership by necessity; this is the time when you will need to understand engagement. Engagement allows you to show your team:
- Understanding
- Respect
These narrow the leadership gap between you and your team, bringing you closer.
- Speak to your peers – Developing relationships from which inspiration can be derived is a two-way street. Speaking to others is the key to making yourself open.
- Give advice based on common values – Discussing solutions to issues works well if both parties have the same outcomes in mind. Identifying your own values with a colleague’s allows discussion between both parties to run parallel with one another – the result is you are working together on a logical and human level.
- Be yourself – To be regarded as a true role model you need to teach your own lessons, for if people are to accept you, they must accept the real you. They will learn to admire your quirks and see what makes you unique.
To conclude
Giving more consideration to your surroundings allows you to perceive more about life and is the first step to finding the answer to your problem, so take the first step, tell your everyday role models how you admire their values and insights, and tell them the positive effect their lessons have had on you. Now is the time to begin opening up to your own everyday role models.
Written by Daniel Burns
I am a full time BA Business Management student from Northern Ireland with aspirations for a career in management upon graduation. My 3 years of study have taught me the importance of leadership through engagement. My writing started as an outlet for my own personal reflection on life and learning. My intention is to share these thoughts with the web community in the hope of gaining a deeper understanding of working and developing through people’s values and attitudes. For any questions I’m available at bbdanpat(at)aol(dot)com.
What if when you were a young adult you received an inheritance of $90,000? What would you do? Would you put the money aside in a savings account for when you’re older? Would you settle down? Or would you take a huge risk and use that money to follow your dreams and passion?
Peter Buffett was given such an opportunity and chose to take the riskiest path.
Peter is the youngest son of Warren Buffett, one of the most successful investors in the world and one of the biggest philanthropists in history. A few years ago Warren made a pledge to donate close to $40 billion to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, an organization that focuses on improving health and education around the world.
Growing up with such successful parents, you would think that the Buffett children turned into those typical heiresses you’ve seen in the media. However, Warren was not just a successful businessman but also a successful father. The Buffett family didn’t live in a sprawling mansion or drive around in Lamborghinis. They were simple (yet extraordinary at the same time). Warren and his wife Susan decided that they would help their kids get a start in life but they wouldn’t give them too much assistance and privilege that they would become lazy.
Peter is the youngest of Warren and Susan’s three children. He saw his two older siblings go through their inheritance rather quickly and he learned from that. He didn’t want to repeat the same mistake but he also didn’t want to just settle down and follow the safe path in life that would guarantee financial security. He had a passion for music and was compelled to pursue it. So at age nineteen he left Stanford University and moved to San Francisco to attempt to begin a career in music.
With his $90,000 inheritance, Peter spent it wisely buying the necessary equipment for his music and then living frugally.
He struggled for a few years working different low-paying jobs and paying his dues in the music industry. Then in 1981 he got his big break. One of Peter’s neighbors just happened to ask him what he did. Peter told him that he was a struggling musician. The man told Peter about a friend of his who was in need of musicians all the time. The neighbor referred Peter to this person, who just happened to be working for a little startup cable network called MTV. Peter began creating audio for MTV’s logos. This opened new doors for Peter as he started working for advertising agencies in San Francisco creating jingles.
Then Peter moved towards film. He composed a score for Kevin Costner’s Dances with Wolves. The score was part of the “Fire Dance” scene. Peter’s opportunities continued and he continued to seize them by composing a score for an eight part miniseries on CBS produced by Mr. Costner called 500 Nations and then contributing to a score for the film The Scarlet Letter. He continued with composing music for television and won two Emmys for An American Portrait and Ojibwe.
Peter had all these successes but he didn’t stop there. He released 15 records through the years and currently owns two independent record labels called BisonHead and BeSide Records. He also produced a theatrical concert called “Spirit – The Seventh Fire.”
Like his father and mother, Peter has the desire to give back to those less fortunate. He has collaborated with the musical artist Akon to bring awareness to the over 12 million people in the world who are trafficked for sexual and labor exploitation. Akon and Peter created songs to inspire others to help stop human trafficking and created a site where people could learn more and contribute to the cause. The site is called; IsThereSomethingICanDo.com. Peter also runs a foundation called the NoVo Foundation that fosters projects that empower women and girls around the world.
Peter had a great start in life thanks to his parents. They encouraged him to be his own person and blaze his own trails. So instead of following his father’s successful footsteps, Peter decided to go down the path that had no footsteps. It was a huge risk but that’s where his passion was pushing him to go and he couldn’t ignore it.
Peter succeeded and he also failed. And he learned along the way. Now he is sharing those lessons with others.
Peter has written a book called; Life Is What You Make It: Find Your Own Path to Fulfillment. The book asks the question of whether you’d choose the easiest path in life or the path with potentially greater satisfaction.
The book is published by Random House and is to be released on April 27, 2010. You can order it from Random House, Amazon, Borders, Barnes and Noble,or IndieBound.
I was given the amazing opportunity to ask Peter a few questions about success, creativity, and life:
- When you left college to pursue music, did you have a backup plan if you ran out of your savings and your career hadn’t taken off yet? Clearly you didn’t want to ask your father for a handout.
Not only did I not want to ask him, I knew that I wouldn’t get it! So I had to make it work. Honestly… I didn’t really have a backup plan. Although now that I’m thinking about it, I guess going back to school was my backup plan. I was very lucky that my parents were willing and able to pay for my schooling. In general, I’ve always tried to take a leap of faith knowing that if I didn’t make it, my fallback was okay, too. So in this case, school was the fallback.
- Do you think money brings happiness?
No! That is definitely a misconception. It’s important in that it puts food on the table and a roof over your head… things like that, for sure. But happiness can only come from inside of you. It may sound corny, but it’s true. I think most people are trying to make a lot of money to prove their worth.. or so they can buy things that prove their worth. This is a completely false way to get the happiness one is looking for.
- What did it feel like when you knew you had made it on your own?
Great! I like to say that “self respect comes from earning your own reward”. The only way we can truly know ourselves and live an honest life is to make our own decisions and take responsibility for them.
- You’re a multi-talented guy, what tips do you have for others to tap into their underutilized and hidden talents?
Get to know what feelings inside connect with “hey.. I like this I want to get better at it/do it more” or “this isn’t really for me… I need to find another path”. Those messages are sometimes hard to hear or they get distorted by what you “think” you need or want. Society gives us thousands of messages every day.. and they aren’t always good ones!
- What advice do you have for those who feel they can’t make a career out of their passions?
Well.. not everyone can, that’s true. I think there are two ways to look at it – you can work to live or live to work. Both are certainly viable. I think if you live to work, it means that you love what you do and have found a way to make your passion your livelihood. If you work to live, that means that you have your “day job” which may not be a perfect fit, but it allows you to pursue a passion in your free time. In that scenario, the best is if you actually love going to work because you know it’s feeding your passion outside of work.
- You and your family have the ability to tackle large philanthropic efforts, but for people with fewer resources, what can they do to help others and make the world a bit better?
There is so much value in time and expertise! Money is good, but time is at least as valuable if not more so. Philanthropy literally means the love of people. So it’s really not about money at all. It’s about wanting to help out so that we all have a brighter future. That can be helping out at a soup kitchen or lending your expertise at painting houses to Habitat for Humanity.
- Your father encouraged you and your siblings to blaze your own trails and pursue your passions; but many parents aren’t like that today. They want their children to get a degree, get a high paying job, settle down and take as little risk as possible. Why do you think that is?
Well, it’s probably a well meaning push towards security. Although sometimes it’s also for the parent’s own ego.. “my kid is at Harvard..” etc.. It’s too bad either way. My thought is that parenting should involve the idea that your child is unique in the world and how do they best grow into that unique place that is theirs alone?
- A lot of people have this negative mentality of “what’s this world coming to?” What and where do you believe this world is coming to?
I believe that all things are cyclical. The world has been around for 4 billion years, it will be here for quite some time. But humanity as it stands today is another story. Certainly America will change over the coming decades or century. The idea that we are – or have to be – “number 1″ or “the best” is already outdated. But it will probably take some sort of seismic shift for people to really get that.. and realize that it’s okay. We’re part of a global community that depends on all of us for survival. While this might come off as negative, I think it’s just the natural order of things. Everything changes… the world will probably look very different in 50 years. It’s not going to come to an end! It will just end as we know it.
- You acknowledge that you’ve let opportunities slip through your hands but you don’t seem to live with huge regrets. How do you recommend others deal with missed opportunities?
Every one of them is a learning opportunity. What were you not prepared for? How did you mess up? How can you do better next time? The key to this is taking responsibility. Finding where you went wrong and learning instead of blaming some outside situation.
- You believe time is more precious than money. How can people who are full of responsibilities like working a 9 to 5 job, raising kids, helping elderly parents, paying a mortgage, etc., find even a little time to go after their passions and dreams?
Absolutely time is more precious than money! It can never be replaced. But this is a very real and difficult question. Honestly, the best response I can think of is the importance of pursuing dreams and passions when you’re young – so you can see what takes hold before other obligations become overwhelming. Of course, for many, parenting itself is (and should be!) a passion. But the old adage that “youth is wasted on the young” I think speaks to the idea that when you’re older and saddled with more responsibilities you remember how your youth was not used as wisely as it could have been…. following your dreams.
- Do you think luck plays a major role in everyone’s success?
Yes. But being prepared for it when it comes is critical!
- Do you have any specific tips for those pursuing goals in the arts such as music, writing, painting, and film?
It can be a difficult road. But that’s where the drive that only passion can give you pays off. I think one important thing to remember is not to think that doing something even slightly related to your goal is “beneath” you. I took plenty of jobs that didn’t pay – or paid poorly. And also did work that was considered “grunt” work in the music biz. But it was all slowly taking me down a path that kept me in music. I was always learning something that would get me a little further.
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I thank him so much for giving Lyved his time and for sharing his great knowledge with us all! His story is so refreshing and inspiring. I highly encourage you to learn more about Peter Buffett and his book at his website; PeterBuffett.com.
Photo of Peter Buffett courtesy of Mr. Buffett. Image of Life Is What You Make It cover courtesy of Random House.
This is a guest post.
No, this isn’t a post about an upcoming horror movie, but a troublesome group of people in society. They’re Zombies. Negative, dreamless, bitter and lazy people. Zombies don’t want to excel in anything which challenges them to think and make improvements in their lives. They blame the world for their problems. Membership is open to anyone feeling hopeless, unloved or dissatisfied with life. Subdivisions of the Zombies group are Party People, Disgruntled Workers and Dream Smashers.
PARTY PEOPLE:
These people want to have a good time ALL THE TIME! Once in awhile they mention their dreams, but it’s hard to accomplish them because it takes self discipline and sacrifice. Party people look forward to the end of the week not the future. Why make sacrifices for a better life when you can have instant gratification? It’s more fun drinking booze, taking women home and getting high.
It seems as if they’re living a wonderful and carefree life. But when you examine their lives it’s a culmination of irresponsibility, immaturity and neglect. There’s no balance between work and play.
They hate their job but are too scared and lazy to make a change. Party people complain of an unsatisfactory life and envy those chasing their dreams.
They waste social opportunities with fruitless posing and meaningless conversation. Of course, this definition doesn’t apply to all Party People. Everyone isn’t the same.
DISGRUNTLED WORKERS:
These people are always grousing. They don’t like their boss and co- workers because of in competency or bad behavior. It’s the same story of office politics and how their such a great worker in a crazy and hostile atmosphere.
By listening to the daily stories of displeasure you wonder why are they still there. Most of them will give poor excuses: “I have bills to pay”, “It’s hard getting a new job because of the recession” or “I’ll be retiring soon.”
Disgruntled workers are those not willing to make a difference in their life. They want sympathy and a shoulder to cry on not a solution to their problems. This category of people enjoy going home to numb away the pain through entertainment, sex or other activities.
Physical stimulation takes precedence over attending networking functions and updating a resume. Also, their conversation usually revolves around the job they hate. If you change the topic, he or she will find a way to tie it in with the workplace.
DREAM SMASHERS:
Dream Smashers are former dreamers who delight in telling people the impossibilities of achieving their goals. Please don’t share your dreams with this group. They’ll lecture you on “living in the real world” and drive you into depression with sarcasm and limiting beliefs.
They are experts in living a safe and comfortable life. Dream Smashers don’t want to take risks because there’s a chance of failure and embarrassment. This group reminisces of earlier years when enthusiasm permeated their bones. They were fearless and optimistic. Disappointment and failure removed an ecstatic and carefree attitude and replaced it with pessimism and cynicism.
WARNING! Do not join these groups. Reject their advances. Create you life by taking action and surrounding yourself with DOERS not LOSERS!
Written by Omar Hasan
Omar Hasan is the author of the upcoming ebook “The Disappearance of Hate”. He’s a Blogger and Screenwriter from Brooklyn, NY. His blog www.transformationscience.wordpress.com focuses on inspiring and motivating people to achieve dreams and goals.
Contact info: Ohassa@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/ohassa
This is a guest post.
When a disease kills a number of your family members, and threatens your life and the lives of others you love, the disease is asking you a question: What are you going to do about me?
Many possible answers present themselves:
(1) Try to enjoy your life without thinking about the disease, and hope it doesn’t kill you or anyone else.
(2) Become obsessed with the disease, letting its looming threat drain your joy.
(3) Keep your mouth shut, hoping that your silence can prevent people from feeling sorry for you / worrying for you / declining to hire you / declining to date you.
(4) Fight back, without losing your smile and sense of humor.
At 19 I learned that in addition to height and an interest in reading, I had also inherited polycystic kidney disease from my father. Cysts, or pockets of fluid, grow on and throughout both kidneys of people with PKD, often causing high blood pressure, aneurysms and renal failure by the mid-40s or early 50s.
My grandfather, great-grandfather and great-great-grandfather had all dropped dead of heart attacks in their mid-40s. (My father had died at 42, though not of PKD; he drowned.) I am now 41. For many years I tried not to think about PKD. I definitely didn’t talk about it. I hoped that science would advance in time to save me and my siblings.
Then my first cousin died at 35. A great guy, Mike was just five months older than I was. We had grown up together. PKD gave him high blood pressure and an aneurysm, and when he died he left two young children and many other shocked relatives behind. I decided I couldn’t wait for science: I had to give science a hand. I wanted to help fund the research that would cure PKD, saving not just me, but two of my siblings, my cousin, their kids, and the other 600,000 Americans — one in every 500 people you see — who have PKD.
Doing this makes me feel good. I’m glad to know that my small contribution is much better than nothing. It lightens my burden to meet others who are also fighting PKD. And raising money to fight PKD has also taught me interesting things about people I wouldn’t otherwise have learned. Some close friends whose help I expected have given nothing, while many people I knew much less well have given a great deal, blowing me away with their generosity. I’ve heard similar things from other fundraisers. People are funny.
If you’d like to help, too, please check out my music video at www.kennythekidney.com.
If it makes you smile at least once, please pass it on to a friend or two.
And if you can afford it, please click the “Donate” button and donate $5 or more to help cure PKD. (Sadly, donations under $5 cost more to process than they’re worth.) If you enter your middle name as “Lyved,” I’ll be able to tell Andrew that you heard about me on his site — and that’ll make Andrew feel good, too.
Thank you!
Best,
Kenny the Kidney
