Independence, self-reliance, personal motivation, perseverance, and personal responsibility are what we each need to possess in order to fully achieve our dreams and goals.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t need or get help from family, friends, people we meet along the way and complete strangers.
We have to be open to getting a helping hand from others and not feeling shame in it. This is something that I had to struggle with before launching my Kickstarter campaign for my upcoming novel To Breathe Free.
To achieve my publishing dreams and the literary legacy of my late Grandfather with this novel, I knew that I needed the moral and/or financial support of others, including you. But I was apprehensive about it, feeling like I was a beggar.
Then upon deeper reflection, I realized that probably not a single successful person of the past or present could honestly say that they never received help from others. Many successful individuals probably don’t want to admit it or aren’t even conscious off the assistance they received, but there are always stories of people who were given “big breaks” and people who had the encouragement of their family. Even those billionaire businessmen who think that did it all on their own should credit the support of their workers.
I have to credit you. Without your help, Lyved would not be the blog that it is today and I probably wouldn’t be pursuing writing like I am. And I hope that because the help of others, my novel To Breathe Free will also be able to become an excellent and well-read novel.
No one is going to simply hand your dreams and goals to you. But if you’re willing to plan, work and work some more, and possess independence, self-reliance, personal motivation, perseverance, and personal responsibility, people will be willing to assist you in your pursuit and you should feel no shame in accepting the help.
If you enjoyed this post and any of the other articles on Lyved, please consider supporting my endeavor to achieve a literary legacy for my late Grandfather and my dream of publishing my novel To Breathe Free. To learn more please click here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/tobreathefree/to-breathe-free-the-first-great-american-e-novel $4 will allow you to receive a copy To Breathe Free for your support. But eve $1 or a “like” on Facebook, Tweet on Twitter, or share in any other way is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your support!
Photo by Curtis Fry
You had a dream.
You had the end goal clearly pictured in your mind.
You created a detailed plan to achieve the dream and goal.
You executed the plan precisely.
You intelligently deviated from the plan when opportunities presented themselves and when life threw you curveballs.
You worked like hell.
You remained as positive as you could, possessed personal motivation, and had the support of others.
And you achieved successes.
Yet, it still wasn’t enough. Your dream appears to be lifeless and you are now preparing it for eternal rest.
Stop yourself before you toss that last shovelful of earth on top of your dream. Perhaps you can revive it.
First, evaluate the time
Are you being unrealistic about how long it will take to achieve your dream? Sure, there are occasions where dreams can be achieved very quickly. Everyone loves a tale of overnight success, but most of the time it’s not how things go. Your dream may not be lifeless at all, but instead going through a slow patch yet still full of a very long life ahead.
This leads into the next point you should examine:
Assess how close you got or currently are
Those successes you’ve achieved along the way probably helped to get you a lot closer to your dream than you may think. It couldn’t hurt to go just a little bit further and see where you are then. Could it? Keep doing that over and over, taking each of your steps one at a time and with laser focus, and you may end up exactly where your pictured in the first place.
Try harder and/or try with a different plan
The old idiom tells us to “try, try again” but let’s add to that: try harder and try with a different plan. Your dream still stays the same, but perhaps your plan to get there needs adjustments or needs to be completely redesigned. Regroup and try harder and with this new plan.
Ask yourself questions like these:
- What was the reason I gave birth to this dream and went after making it a goal and reality?
- Does anyone else depend on the dream coming to fruition? If so, how could I let them down? How could I let down the people that support me and my dream?
- Why am I giving up? Is there a valid reason? Is it because of an invalid reason like the criticism of others? Am I just burnt out? If I am, do I just need a break?
- What will life be like if I DO give up?
- What will life be like if I DON’T give up?
- Am I holding myself back? If so, what is the reason? Am I afraid of achieving the dream because of the responsibilities it will bring?
- Am I outside my comfort zone? – Achieving dreams requires you to jump far out of that zone.
Understand that your dream will never truly die
Even if you let go and bury your dream six feet under, it’s never going to be truly dead. Your dream will always be in the back of your mind, along with the “what ifs?” like I wrote about in a past article titled “The Vengeance of Unfulfilled Dreams”. Regret is a powerful thing and even as hard as you may try to not live with regrets, there’s no escaping them, especially when you try to bury a dream.
My personal story of reviving a dream
As many of you know, I have been working on writing a novel entitled To Breathe Free. My goal is to publish it as an e-novel on multiple platforms such as the Kindle, iPad, Nook, and more. To bring To Breathe Free to those reading platforms and devices and make it the best possible novel that it can be, I have been attempting to raise funding on Kickstarter.com to hire a freelance book editor. My first attempt on Kickstarter was not a success. I had a powerful dream, I had a clear picture of the goal I wanted to achieve, I had a plan in place which I executed, I seized opportunities, I worked like hell, I remained positive, motivated, and had the amazing support of family, friends, strangers, and all of you. And I did achieve successes on way. Yet it wasn’t enough. My campaign ended and To Breathe Free seemed like a lifeless dream.
But I refused to let it die and now I’m reviving using the same points and questions that I wrote about above. I just relaunched To Breathe Free on Kickstarter with a longer deadline, lower goal, and revised plan to achieve the goal. So far it is going great! I welcome you to please visit the new Kickstarter project page for To Breathe Free here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/tobreathefree/to-breathe-free-the-first-great-american-e-novel.
As you may have noticed, Lyved no longer has 3rd party banner ads displayed and I do not earn any money from Lyved. I just enjoy writing for all of you. However, since Lyved has a high amount of traffic, it is expensive to maintain this site and I pay for it out of my pocket. So if you have enjoyed Lyved’s free articles, please consider pledging towards To Breathe Free as it will help offset costs. $4 allows you to receive a copy of To Breathe Free when it is released. $8 pre-orders two copies. And a pledge of $25, allows you to receive two copies of To Breathe Free, a copy for a friend, and a limited edition print greeting card of To Breathe Free‘s book cover along with a handwritten and signed thank you note from me. Even a pledge of $1 is a massive help. And if can’t afford $1, please also consider “liking” the project on Facebook or tweeting it on Twitter. Buttons for both are right under the video on the project page. Or also consider “liking” and tweeting this article, it will be a great way to spread the word while at the same time providing an informative article to others. The buttons to like or tweet this article are just below.
So how ‘bout it? Are you gonna let that dream of yours really die or are you gonna revive it?
Photo by Prashanth dotcompals
2010 came and went. Now it’s time to reevaluate where you’re headed and what you want to achieve.
This year though, it’s time to try something different to help you achieve your goals. Here are seven fresh approaches to New Year’s resolutions. You certainly don’t have to do all the approaches, instead choose to follow those that best fit you and what you’re pursuing.
1. Take the month of January to conceive of goals
Perhaps one of the biggest reason people can’t stick with the goals they create is because they think of them too quickly. They come up with them when they’re still in holiday mode or while they’re half-drunk on New Year’s Eve.
Instead of tossing together your goals in the last week of December, take some time, maybe all of January or longer to perform some soul-searching to figure out the aspirations that come from farther down.
2. Conceive of goals, not dreams
Another mistake individuals seem to make is that they turn their resolutions into dreams instead of goals. Dreams are what people want to achieve but there isn’t much of a plan or foundation behind them so they’re more easily given up on. Goals have a base to rest on and a plan of steps to walk on.
3. Roll over goals from the past
Each of us has a goal or probably many goals that we didn’t achieve in the last year. We can either let them go, or roll them over to the new year. So instead of coming up with new goals continue with last year’s and conceive of new plans of execution. Your goals may be great, but your execution may be the weak that is keeping from achievement.
4. Help others with their goals when you can
Help someone else pursue their goals whenever you’re able to do so. Who knows what you’ll get out of it and what goals of yours you’ll be inspired to achieve.
Do you think it’s selfish to want to help someone and benefit from it at the same time? Well it’s human nature to think about what you’ll get out of helping others and it’s the paradox of being selfless: you’ll benefit from it too.
5. Start tiny and build momentum
Simple enough and therefore, overlooked. Go for the smaller goals first and build momentum to tackle your bigger ones.
6. Train your mind
One surefire way to never give up on a goal is to train your mind to never let a day escape you without thinking about the goal and the current step you need to finish to achieve it. Training your mind to focus is going to take just as much persistence as accomplishing the goal. But once your mind reaches a certain point, nothing, not even the biggest obstacles, will stop you from believing that you can and need to achieve the goal.
*Just a side note: While training your mind (and after it’s trained) to never let go of a goal and the steps towards it, don’t forget to live in the moment. Enjoy a beautiful day, your family, and the simple things.
7. Don’t even worry about New Year’s resolutions
Don’t get caught up in the hype of creating resolutions. Stay focused on your life’s goals. You might not need any new goals or any edits to your plan of action, but rather what you do need is continued perseverance and conviction to stand by your goals.
What are some of your goals? Have you used any of the approaches above yourself? Post in the comments below or head to our Facebook fan page here: http://www.facebook.com/lyved, click “Like” and join in the discussion.
Other articles that might interest you:
- The Vengeance of Unfulfilled Dreams
- What do you want on your headstone?
- 75 questions to ask yourself
- 7 ways to change your life in the next 7 days
Sun and mountain image by prakhar
This is a guest post.
Some people say that you can be anything you want to be – if you just work hard enough. But science tells us that is not true – we aren’t great at everything. But we are great at some things. So, if we could discover what we are great at, and we knew how to assess and evaluate our world, we could always find those places, in work and life, that allow us to use what we are great at. We would feel capable and competent. We would feel excited and passionate. We could find our best fit.
It’s in the DNA
Hardwired in our brains, delivered through our DNA, are our talents, strengths and passions that make us good at some things and not others; we love some things but not others. We have no more control over these than we do selecting our gender. But what we do have control over is our effort to discover these unique attributes to know how to use them to invent a life that is meaningful, successful and happy for us. Know ourselves. Know our world. Find our fit. This is our responsibility.
Why it’s all changed
We are now in an intellectual or service workplace. Much of manufacturing moved offshore; most of today’s businesses provide service, not products. This means employees are no longer behind machines, but are now face-to-face with customers. This changes everything about performance. Now, to be great in a job, we must be naturally good at it and like doing it. If not, the customer sees it and it impacts their loyalty and our success. Not everyone is right for every job and customers know it. We have to know ourselves, know what the job needs, then assess whether the job is a good fit for us. This is how we succeed or fail. Fit matters in the workplace.
Fit at work
You go into a retail store and the person behind the counter is busy reading something and doesn’t look up, come over or even greet you. First, what do you think? The guy’s a jerk or an idiot. Actually, the guy may be an exceptional person but isn’t naturally social. He may be the best at managing the inventory but is horrid with customers. Good person. Bad fit. If he knew himself – his talents, strengths and passions – he may have selected a job that allowed him to use what he is good at and interested in doing (details, analysis, precision). His performance would improve. His happiness would improve. And in the process you could have become a loyal customer instead of being pissed off. All because of fit.
Fit in life
Your parents want you to be an attorney. You want to be a park ranger. But you study law because you come from a family that knows how to dole out the guilt. You barely make it through school because it doesn’t come easily and you don’t like it. You barely graduate and now the great law firms aren’t interested in you. You are good, not great. They want great. You hate the job and your life. Fit matters in life.
You are who you are
The quality of your life is based on your ability to know yourself and to align your work and life to the things you are good at and passionate about doing. You don’t want my life. I don’t want yours. Yours should be invented around what matters to you, as mine should be for me. We each need to find our fit.
Check in often and change the world
This review for fit is something we must continually do throughout our lives. As we change and the world changes, what will be right for us will likely change. To build powerful, extraordinary and meaningful lives, we must always assess our fit – to find those places that let us make our greatest impact – to be in our zone – our greatness zone. And when we are at our best, we bring our best to the world. We transform the world.
So to have the most amazing life, get into your greatness zone – know yourself, know your world and identify the places that let you be the best you. Then each day you will wake up thrilled by life and make a profound difference. And isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?
Written by Jay Forte
Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, greatness coach, and author of The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World and Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition. He teaches organizations how to attract, hire and retain today’s best talent. He coaches students, parents and professionals to discover and play to their personal greatness, to maximize their impact, success and happiness.
He can be reached at www.TheGreatnessZone.com and at 401.338.3505.
Article image by Will Clayton
This is a guest post.
We spend so much of our time at work! Our work comes to define us, and what we get done at work turns into quality of life outside of work. And yet… Once we’re at work, we can easily get caught doing things that aren’t very effective. Sometimes for years at a time. That’s all because we rarely work on purpose.
Humans are funny creatures. We have dreams and lofty goals—a meaningful life, security for us and our families, launching a new brand of toothpaste into third world markets. We plan how we’ll get there. We even start implementing our plan. So far, so good. But then the great cosmic joke begins. Once we’ve started along the path, we forget our original goal. We end up enslaved to the path, even if it stops taking us where we wanted to go. We’ve lose our original purpose and become wedded to our daily grind.
At work, this makes bureaucracy. Our boss likes weekly written status reports, so we dutifully spend an hour each Monday writing the report. We get a new boss and keep writing the reports. Our new boss is perfectly happy to receive them, but she would be just as happy with a five-minute chat. We keep spending 52 hours a year (that’s an entire work week) writing the reports, because we’ve lost our original goal: having a good relationship with our boss. When the boss changed, our behavior didn’t.
Work on Purpose by Asking Why
Reconnecting with purpose is a cinch: just ask Why. Why uncovers the larger purpose to what you’re doing. You can ask why to that purpose to get the goal of that goal. Ask why several times and you’ll uncover a whole ladder of goals that go from the tactical all the way up to the grandiose.
What if you did this while writing your status report? You might uncover a goal ladder like this.
Ask: Why am I writing this?
Answer: To update my boss about my actions.
Ask: Why am I updating my boss?
Answer: To keep my boss informed about what I’m doing.
Ask: Why do I want to keep my boss informed?
Answer: Because if she’s informed, our relationship will go more smoothly.
You’ve made it from your actions to your purpose: keeping the relationship going smoothly.
Make Sure You’re Aligned by Asking How
Asking Why uncovers your motivating purpose. It tells you where the energy is coming from that’s propelling you forward. That doesn’t necessarily mean that what you’re doing moment to moment will work, however. Maybe you set your high-level goals a long time ago. They may be out of date, or you may be able to find better ways of reaching them than what you’re currently doing.
Double-check your goals by starting at the top level purpose and asking “How can I achieve this?” Your answer might be the same as the next lower goal you identified on your way up the goal ladder. If so, great! You’re in alignment! But often, the answers don’t match. Then you know your subgoals and actions aren’t serving your higher goals.
During a Saturday radio interview, I asked my interviewer why he worked weekends. We traced up his goal ladder: “I want money,” he said. “Why?” I asked. “So I can afford time to spend with the people I love.”
Then we started at the top and went back down the ladder. We asked “how could you spend time with the people you love?” The answer, much to his surprise, wasn’t “I should make money,” but “I should ramp down my work efforts and spend Saturdays at home with my family.” The very path he’d chosen to his goal was the one thing keeping him from it.
Check Your Inner Teenager
Working on Purpose is the key to keeping yourself on track for your highest goals. Double-check your to-do list every so often. Make sure your actions are aligned around really reaching your highest goals. You needn’t just work on purpose; you can also try Living on Purpose. Reconsider how you volunteer, how you spend your leisure time, and how you use your life outside of work. Do you really want your 35-year-old life following the path made by 15-year-old you, no matter how smart and well-intentioned you were at the time? Yet many of us do just that (I know I do!). We set our ambitions early, chart a lifelong course, and never think to re-visit it. A session of Why and How is simple, but can profoundly reconnect you with the life you should be living.
Keeping your actions aligned with your purpose means everything you do will be moving you towards your goals. Align your work and your life by asking “Why?” to discover your driving goals, and then ask “How?” to make sure you’re not just working, but you’re working on purpose.
Written by Stever Robbins
Stever Robbins is a serial entrepreneur, the author of Get-it-Done Guy’s 9 Steps to Work Less and Do More, host of the #1 iTunes business podcast The Get-it-Done Guy, and an adjunct lecturer at Babson College. He is currently working on his 11th startup.
Article photo by a4gpa