Success
The title of this post is a bit of an irony, but despite conventional thought, there are many ways to successfully fail.
I’ve been an entrepreneur since I was 14 years old. I’ve failed countless times over those years and I still fail today. I used to erase the failures from my memory but then I began to realize that was an even bigger mistake.
Failures happen for a reason. Failure weeds out those who NEED it; be it a goal or success, from those who just WANT it.
Failing successfully takes a lot of work, time, and self-discipline. Here are 10 ways to do it, broken down into 3 major categories.
Using your failures
1. Use failure to connect with people
Failure is something that unites us all. Don’t be afraid to make your mistakes and failures public. When you do, also make public the lessons you’ve learned.
You’d be surprised as to how much better you can connect with clients, readers, friends, and even the very successful. Portraying an image of being perfect is what puts people off.
2. Failure, then success makes for a good story
The media is always interested in rags to riches, underdog, and redemption stories. Again, share your story and the lessons you learned in pitches you may give to reporters and writers. This isn’t for everyone, but for bloggers, entrepreneurs, musicians, artists, and writers, this can set you apart.
It might help you get in a magazine, on TV, or heck, maybe even on the silver screen.
3. Learn
This is probably the simplest and most common item on the list. If you don’t fail you aren’t learning and you aren’t even living.
Failures can teach you:
- About yourself, including strengths and weaknesses
- About others
- What you like and don’t like
- Lessons that can’t be taught in any school
4. Teach others
Write a book, blog, become a mentor, or actually become a teacher. Sure, people have to make mistakes on their own, but they can learn a lot from yours as well.
Not accepting your failures
5. Reevaluate why you failed
Lack of focus, too many priorities, not enough passion; there’s plenty of reasons why you could of failed.
Take a few moments, look over your plan, and ask yourself:
- Did I not give myself enough time?
- Did I LOVE, not just like, what I was doing?
- Did I let others stop me?
- Did I let my fears stop me?
6. Readjust your plan
People always say “never give up.” But how do you not give up when things aren’t working right? Simple, you readjust your plan.
The main goal or end result you desire to achieve shouldn’t change, but your approach should if it’s not working.
Here are some aspects of your plan you can readjust:
- Time frames – You might want to give yourself more time. Or if you put your goal so far down the road, say 5 years, that you aren’t taking daily steps to get there, then give yourself less time.
- Amounts – Do you really need to make a billion dollars? Sometimes we want so much, when we only need much less.
- Steps – Don’t forget the baby steps. They’re often more important than the major ones.
7. Take a break
Sometimes that is all you need. A few months break from persistent action towards a goal. Take the time to brainstorm and re-motivate yourself, then jump back in.
Denying it was failure
Hmm… Who thought denial was good?
8. Change the word
Remove “failure” from your vocabulary and replace it with something else like “hiccup” or “lesson.”
9. Consider it a step
If you believe that everything happens for a reason, then “failure” doesn’t exist. It’s really a step towards success.
10. Make failure not an option
Have you ever considered putting it ALL on the line so that it becomes such a desperate situation that you deny failure as an option?
Once you begin to understand that failure isn’t that bad, then you begin to take more risks and ultimately you will achieve your goals. That’s the ultimate way of failing successfully.
What are some other ways to fail successfully? If you know of any, please share in the comments below. We’d all love to read them.
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- How to graduate the School of Hard Knocks with a 4.0
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From January 1st to the 31st, everyone has big goals for the new year. But most people forget about pursuing them by February.
New Year’s resolutions have really lost their meaning (or perhaps they never really had meaning). They’re often too basic, and are more for sayers than doers. If this year you want to be a doer and accomplish many goals, then it’s time for you to write you own constitution.
Writing a constitution for yourself is more profound than a to-do or life list. It has to do more with the beginning and middle steps and small goals, than the end results. Goal lists are an excellent tool and have their purpose, but you only see the ending, not how to get there.
Personal constitutions are not popular yet, but Dennis McCafferty of USA Weekend mentioned that even actor Will Smith and his family wrote their own constitution, in an interview he did with Will.
So if you want to do something fresh, this article will be your guide. The structure does not follow the US Constitution exactly, so have fun with it, move things around or add more to it. And if you would like; write a constitution with your family as well.
- The Preamble (intro)
First and foremost, figure out the main reasons why you’re writing a personal constitution. Along with your name, this will be the preamble or introduction. For example:
“I, John Doe, am creating this document to establish a happier, more prosperous, and extraordinary life.”
The intro doesn’t need to be long.
Now it’s time for more details. The next ten sections of your constitution will cover various aspects of your life. The reasoning is that the problems in one area of our lives may actually be caused by a completely different aspect. A financial problem could be caused by an attitude problem.
- Section 1: Emotions & Attitude
Think about the aspects of your personality and emotions you shouldn’t change, first. If you’re caring and ambitious then you certainly don’t want to change that.
Now think of the emotions and attitudes you want to change. Perhaps it’s the way you react to certain situations. Do you freak out when things don’t go your way?
Keeping with the John Doe character as a model:
“Section 1
In order to obtain more happiness I must let situations get out of my hands. Instead of freaking out I will step back and observe from afar and piece together why the event occurred.
I will not change my ambition, my honesty, and the way I care for others. I will however, relax my ambition when it’s necessary to live in the moment.”
Think of the way you act around certain people. Reflect on how positive and negative you are and even contemplate how you let other peoples’ emotions affect yours.
- Section 2: Family
It’s usually very hard to change members of your family. They’re your toughest critics and they have to want to change.
Consider what you want for them. Or maybe you even want to start your own family. Do they need wealth, health, happiness, or a home?
“Section 2
I appreciate all that my family has done and still does for me.
I want them to have more happiness, and better wealth. I forfeit my personal gains so that I can assist them when they need me.
I will give them my ears when they need someone to talk to and I will motivate them to achieve a better life alongside me.”
If your family is not happy and prosperous, either will you.
- Section 3 – Career
This is a self-explanatory section. Do you want to change careers? Retire? Fix the career you have or try a new and crazy career?
“Section 3
I no longer want to work dead end jobs. I will find a career in which I feel fulfilled by helping others feel fulfilled.
The career I pursue will also utilize my college degree.”
- Section 4 – Finances
This is on everyone’s minds. Do you need to get out of debt? Pay off loans? Do you want to make a million dollars?
“Section 4
I will pay off the rest of my college loans in 6 months.
I will save $400 every month of the year, or if I can I will save more, with the goal of reaching $5,000 in savings.”
- Section 5 – Charity
Will you donate money, resources, or time?
“Section 5
I will donate 10% of what I earn each month to various charities.”
- Section 6 – Helping others
Charity is not the only way to help others. Every day we can do simple things that will change the lives of others. Simple acts like:
- Giving up your seat to someone standing.
- Holding the door for someone.
- Even smiling to strangers.
“Section 6
I will go out of my way to help others, even if it means I’ll be late to wherever I’m going.
I’ll sincerely compliment others when they’re having a bad day.”
- Section 7 – Fears to face
It is extremely rare for someone to make a resolution to face a fear. With a personal constitution it is mandatory.
Think of fears that are hindering your success, your happiness, or fears that are just wasting your time.
“Section 7
I will face my biggest fear of speaking in public. I will make it a regular part of my occupation once I tackle this obstacle.”
- Section 8 – Health
Instead of just writing “lose weight,” be more specific. Do you need to lose 10 or 20 pounds? Also write down how you’ll go about doing that. With a mile run every day? Better eating habits? Actually using your gym membership?
“Section 8
I do not need to lose any weight, but I will gain five pounds of muscle.
I will do this by running 2 miles a week, and by lifting weights every other day.”
- Section 9 – Knowledge
Besides improving the health of your body, you must always improve the health of your mind.
Reading lots of books from different genres, reading magazines, reading blogs, writing, watching educational shows, and by watching films.
“Section 9
I will seek out the help and advice of a mentor. The mentor does not need to be famous and rich, but must have the success and happiness I desire. I will gain knowledge by listening to what he or she has to say.
I will also read at least one book a month and read articles every day.”
- Section 10 – Enjoyment
Your goals can’t be all work and no play. Include time to spend with family, new fun experiences you’ll try, and hobbies you want to keep.
“Section 10
I will eat at new restaurants or try new foods at the restaurants I frequent.
Once during the year I will spontaneously pick a place to go and head out on a small vacation within the next few days after deciding on the location.”
Your Bill of Rights and amendments
Besides the main sections of your constitution, it’s important to create your own bill of rights and include an area where you can adjust any parts of your constitution.
You can use amendments to fix time frames, change amounts; such as how much money you want to earn or how many pounds you want to lose.
The Bill of Rights will lay out your morals, what you believe in, and even how you let other people affect you. You can write as little or as many as you would like.
“My Bill of Rights
In order to stay on my path towards success and a better life, I will follow these rights and amendments.
1. I will not listen to those who tell me a goal cannot be achieved.
2. I will stand up for what I know is right.
3. I will go against the tide, not with it.
4. I will laugh every day.
5. I will help at least one stranger every day.
Amendment I
I will not seek as much money as I can make, but I will pursue as much happiness from my career as possible.”
Now it’s time to print out your constitution, sign & date it, and put it somewhere you will see it every day.
Then comes the hard part; doing it all.
Please feel free to share any pledges or rights you included in your constitution in the comment section below. Please feel free to ask any questions you may have as well.
This is a guest post.
Myth #1: I need to be well-rounded
When I was a kid, I brought home a report card from school. I got an A in every subject, except English. I hated English. It didn’t make any sense to me. I was getting a C.
How did my parents respond? Did they compliment me on my excellent work in most of my classes? Did they encourage me to focus my efforts on those areas where I was having success? No. Instead, they wanted to talk about English. What was I doing wrong? How could I do better? Was I trying hard enough?
They believed, as most parents, managers and employees do, that we need to be well-rounded. We should have knowledge and skills in a variety of different areas. It is a liability to have areas of weakness. Even though most people believe this, it isn’t true.
Fact #1: I need to freak out
Shaquille O’Neal can’t shoot free throws. He’s terrible, always has been, always will be. This isn’t his only problem. He doesn’t shoot well from anywhere outside of five feet and he doesn’t even attempt three-point shots. He doesn’t handle the ball well either. In other words, he’s got a lot of bad grades on his report card.
If it was important to be well-rounded, then we would expect that Shaquille is struggling to find success. But we’d be wrong. He has won four NBA Championships with two different teams and was the MVP for three years. During many of those seasons, other teams tried to exploit his weakness by fouling him every time he got the ball. They called it Hack-A-Shaq and it didn’t work. His teams kept on winning.
Shaquille is different than most people. He is more than seven feet tall and weighs 325 pounds. Because of his incredible size and strength, he only needs to be good at one thing, catching the ball and putting it in the basket from very close range. His good grade in this area makes his other bad grades irrelevant.
It is the same with you. You don’t need to be, and you can’t be, good at everything. Don’t try to be well-rounded. Instead, freak out. Capitalize on your unique abilities and forget about your weaknesses. They don’t matter.
What are your unique skills and characteristics?
How can you build on your strengths so that your weaknesses become irrelevant?
Myth #2: I need to fit in
We tend to do what other people are doing. We are copycats. We want to fit in. We don’t want to be different or unusual. We don’t want to stick out.
There is one big problem with this strategy; fitting in makes us invisible. It makes us disappear. If we do it well, no one can see us. We don’t get any attention.
If we fit in at work, we don’t get in trouble. We don’t get fired, but we don’t get promoted either. We don’t get interesting projects and we don’t get challenging tasks. No one knows who we are.
If our business fits in, everyone drives right by. No one stops. They don’t know we’re even there.
If they do stop, they don’t stay long and they don’t buy anything because our products or services are just like everyone else’s.
Fact #2: I need to stick out
Hardee’s had a problem. They were going out of business. They were unable to compete with McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King. It seemed like there wasn’t room for four major fast food restaurants.
When the other major chains began adding healthy choices like salad, fruit and yogurt, it seemed like Hardee’s would have to do the same in order to keep up. But they never added any of these items. Instead of copying the other restaurants, they did the opposite. They created Thickburgers, huge, fatty, calorie-laden burgers that clogged arteries and gave people instant diabetes.
They didn’t try to fit in. When everyone else make their menus healthier, Hardee’s deliberately made their menu unhealthier. They tried to stick out and it worked. They are no longer on the brink of bankruptcy and they have started adding new locations, instead of closing them down.
How can you stick out?
What is everyone else doing?
How can you do the opposite?
Myth #3: I need to stop procrastinating
When I ask my students to list their weaknesses, the most popular is procrastination. In fact, in most classes, every student admits to having a problem in this area. Books, articles, seminars and blog posts on overcoming procrastination are universally popular. Unfortunately, they don’t work. People keep procrastinating. They can’t help it. Why is it such a problem? I don’t think it is.
Fact #3: I need to start procrastinating more
“Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow and end up just as well.” – Mark Twain
What do you procrastinate? If you are like most people, and I’m not recommending that (see #2), then you procrastinate activities that you don’t enjoy and that you don’t do well. You wait to do them until it is absolutely necessary because you’d rather be doing something else. You’d rather be doing something that you do enjoy and that you are good at.
Procrastination is good. It is a sign that we have wandered away from our strengths, that we have strayed from those activities where we can have tremendous success. Instead of procrastinating less, we should actually procrastinate more. We should simply stop doing the activities that we usually procrastinate.
If this sounds unreasonable, read Jim Collins’ bestselling book, Good to Great. He explains that successful people and great organizations have a “stop-doing” list. They deliberately eliminate activities that they don’t do well or that don’t fit with their mission. Management guru, Peter Drucker, referred to this as “organized abandonment.” Additionally, Marcus Buckingham argues that the most important thing to know about personal success is, “if you don’t like it, stop doing it.”
What do you procrastinate?
What don’t you do well?
What don’t you like to do?
How can you begin eliminating these activities from your life and work?
Myth #4: I need more self-control
What do you want? Do you want to be more organized, lose weight, get a promotion or have a better marriage? Most self-help books have one primary suggestion on how to do this, use self-discipline to simply act differently. They argue that if we just wanted it bad enough, we’d be able to make the change. Because of this, we believe that if we just had more self-control, we’d be able to achieve our goals.
In this view, people are successful because they have self-control and others are failing because they lack self-control. I disagree.
Fact #4: I need to be more fuel efficient
“People think I’m disciplined. It’s not discipline. It’s devotion.” – Luciano Pavarotti
Here is what I think. I believe that we all have the same amount of self-control. We don’t get more or less than anyone else. Successful people do not have extra discipline, they just use what they have more wisely. Similarly, we often have difficulty because we are using our discipline in the wrong places.
What are the wrong places? Fixing weaknesses, trying to fit in and fighting procrastination are the wrong places. These activities drain our energy. They sap our self-discipline.
How can we use our energy more efficiently? Build on strengths, freak out and embrace permanent procrastination. These activities are fueled by devotion, not discipline. They rely on passion instead of pain.
Devotion is more powerful and more abundant than discipline. As the entire world begins to search for alternative fuels to power our vehicles, maybe it is time to consider an alternative fuel for powering our lives.
What drains you?
What renews your energy?
How can you improve your fuel efficiency?
Myth #5: I need to fix my weaknesses
When things go bad, when we lose our job, when someone breaks up with us, when we don’t get the promotion, we assume that something is wrong with us. We search for our flaws, the reasons for our failure, and start trying to fix them.
The reason that this doesn’t work is that there is nothing wrong with you. Yes, you read that right. There is nothing wrong with you.
Fact #5: There is nothing wrong with you
“A strength not utilized is like a sundial in the shade.” – Benjamin Franklin
How does a sundial work? What does it require? It tells time by casting a shadow on the appropriate hour. It needs to be in the sun.
What happens when you put a sundial in the shade? Does it work? No, it doesn’t work.
But is it broken? Is something wrong with it? No, it isn’t broken and nothing is wrong with it.
Then what is the problem? The problem is that the sundial is in the shade. It is in the wrong spot. The sundial doesn’t need to be fixed; it needs to be moved.
It is the same in our lives and our work. When things go bad, it is not because something is wrong with us. It is because we are in the wrong spot. The job or the relationship didn’t work out because it was the wrong fit.
Instead of fixing our weaknesses, we need to look for the right fit. We need to find situations that match our strengths, highlight our abilities, and bring out the best in us. We need to get out of the shade and into the sun.
What is your shade?
How can you find the sun?
Don’t believe the myths. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s time to start freaking out, sticking out, procrastinating more, and using less self-control.
Written by David Rendall
David Rendall is a professor, entrepreneur, speaker and author of The Four Factors of Effective Leadership. His current project is The Freak Factor: Discovering Uniqueness by Flaunting Weakness.
If you want to learn more about how to freak out, you can read his manifesto: www.changethis.com/45.02.FreakFactor.
Or visit his blog: www.daverendall.typepad.com
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What do you think is the single most important element to getting things done, living the life you want, and accomplishing goals? It’s ACTION. It’s getting off your ass and going for it!
You can dream, you can talk, and you can plan; but nothing is going to happen until you take that first step. It’s the difference between a sayer and a doer. It’s the difference between change and remaining the same. And most importantly it’s the difference between living your life the way you want and being forced to live it in another way.
Firstly, you need to throw out the many misconceptions that you’ve grown to believe over the years.
Secrets – There are absolutely no secrets that pertain to accomplishing goals, achieving success, or living the life you desire. You know that it takes persistence, patience, hard work, positivity, passion, and focus. Most people just want to deny this fact and rather pursue finding the easy way out.
Time – Time can be very discouraging and can create its own misconceptions. There’s always seemingly overnight success stories that make people believe they can take one step toward success and the next day they’ll be rich and famous. But these stories leave out the parts about all the frustrations and the hard work that went into the successful result. They leave it out because no one wants to read it.
The other common misconception relating to time is that accomplishing goals and change takes a long time. It may seem like a contradiction to what was just stated. It doesn’t happen over night but it needn’t take long either.
Money – I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll keep saying it: you do not need a lot of money to turn your dreams into reality and become successful.
Now that you’ve relinquished yourself of the biggest misconceptions, let’s talk about you getting off your ass.
Questions to ask yourself and answer:
- What’s preventing me from taking action? Is it fear? Embarrassment?
- Is it physically holding me down?
- Who created these barriers?
After you’ve asked yourself these questions; you’ve probably come to an interesting conclusion. YOU are the one preventing yourself from getting off your behind. It’s the fear you’ve created and it’s the embarrassment you think you’ll have to endure. Almost none of these barriers are physically present; you’re just imagining them in your head.
You are your greatest enemy
You are the one who is your toughest critic; your biggest competition; and your greatest enemy. Right now this is preventing you from taking action but once you get going, it’ll beneficial for improving yourself.
Here are some tips that will help you get off your ass and onto your feet.
Figure out what you want to do now; not what you want to do forever
Young people are constantly asked what they want to do with the rest of their lives. Most of them don’t have a single clue; and that’s just fine. A lot of older people don’t either. Our passions and pursuits are always evolving. But to get yourself off your ass now; you need to know what you want to do now.
Perhaps you want to become healthier, go traveling, or become a social entrepreneur. You might not want to do it when your 80 years old but you’re willing and able to do it now.
Stop wishing you could go back in time
Each of us has wished we could go back in time so that we could either start over or strike while the iron was hot. I have wished this with Lyved. If I had started this blog back in 2004 when blogs were just taking off, this site would already be a full time business. I was too busy chasing the get-rich-quick ideas. Thankfully this thought didn’t cross my mind on launch day on January 1st, 2008. It would have certainly have discouraged me and kept me wishing and wasting energy on the shoulda’s, coulda’s, and woulda’s.
You can’t go back in time, but the next best thing is now. To get ahead tomorrow, you need to start today. The clock is ticking.
Tick… tock…
Quit the moanin’, groanin’ and complainin’
You’re wasting so much time complaining that you don’t have any money, life’s unfair, and that you’re unlucky. If you took some of the effort it takes to complain and put it towards something good, you’d be amazed at the results.
I’m sorry to say it but no one really cares what you’re complaining about. If you want something done, you MUST do it yourself.
Tick… tock… The clock hands are still moving.
Turn your frustrations into something beneficial
If you’re complaining then something is frustrating you. The best thing to do is use that frustration to empower you. Difficult times and circumstances can either force someone to give up, if they’re weak; or for the strong, it’ll fuel their fire.
A few things to remember:
- No one is going to rescue you; not even the government.
- YOU are the one who is preventing you from success. And you hold the key to living the life you desire. You just have to unlock the door.
- The clock is ticking. Tick… tock…
The G.O.Y.A. (getting off your ass) Checklist
Before you can get off your ass and onto your feet, there are a few requirements necessary to do so. They aren’t difficult, and anyone can find them; no matter what age, race, or how much you have in your bank account.
[ ] Passion – If you don’t have passion for whatever it is you’re doing, you’re likely to fall right back on your butt.
[ ] Positivity & a sense of humor
[ ] Beneficial friends – You need to have friends who will help you rise when you fall; not ones who are sitting on their own asses.
[ ] A model – Not Tyra Banks or Kate Moss, but someone who has achieved what you want to. Read everything about them, listen to them, and model your mind like theirs. You must retain your own uniqueness as well, never steal ideas, or try to be someone else.
[ ] Knowledge & intrigued – You need to take the time to open yourself and open a book or two. You’re going to learn a lot along the way, but it doesn’t hurt to get your feet wet as well.
[ ] A smile – You’d be surprised at how far it’ll get you.
[ ] Focus
[ ] A strong will
[ ] A past failure – Why? To motivate your ass to never taste defeat like that again.
It’s never good to quit on a goal but there are times when it is necessary to modify them. You can drastically change a goal or you can modify only certain aspects and keep the main objective intact.
So let’s begin with situations where modifying a goal is probably your best bet.
Your goal is too small
The worst goals you can make for yourself are ones that are way too small and too easily achievable. Say you have a goal of earning some extra money, perhaps $10,000. Now don’t be easy on yourself and say you want to achieve it in a year. Put a little positive pressure and make the goal within six months. Remember: small goals create small results.
Your goals are hurting someone
Whether mentally or physically, if your goal is hurting someone you know or even a stranger, you’ll want to modify your goal. You don’t want to burn bridges or cause pain in someone just for the sake of achieving something. If you did, it would be a very selfish act.
When you grow bored
If you become bored with a goal then you definitely need to modify it. They are your goals, how can you become bored of them? It might mean that you’re not that passionate about the goal. Without passion, there will be no success.
So if you’ve decided that you want to modify a goal or two, there are good ways and bad ways to go about doing so. Here are some good ways:
New approaches
Your main, big goal may not need any changes but the little goals along the way perhaps do. Each step is a goal in and of itself, right? So before giving up or changing a main goal, look at the plan and each baby step. Your problems may lie there. You can adjust time frames, remove steps, or add in some more.
More defined goals
You have to know where you want to go. If one of your goals consists of “earning a lot of money” then you should modify it. Think of the exact amount you want. Perhaps $1 million or $20 million. This keeps you focused and excited. Another way it to add time frames as I stated above. Put an exact date of when you want to have already achieved a goal by.
As you can see it is not always bad to modify your goals. So don’t worry as long as your main goal or goals stay in your mind and heart.
