Experience is not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you
This is a guest post.
I believe everyone living or has lived has been gifted with wisdom to solve one problem or another; wisdom needed to go beyond our limitations; wisdom to make the right choices to allow the right people into our lives; wisdom to discern and watch over our young ones, protecting them from any form of harm, the list goes on and on……Most of the people I coach have come to a crossroad in certain areas of their lives where they have needed a bout of wisdom to direct them to the next phase, direction, junction etc.
This wisdom that we so earnestly and some times desperately seek comes from the experiences we have encountered and dealt with in life’s issues.
Most people tend to shy away from problems, what they fail to realize is that the so called problems, are sent our way to make us more experienced in life’s issues. You can view these experiences as trials and tests to show us the stuff we are made of. It’s only when we have solved the problem or dealt with the issue that we can be the voice of wisdom to others and to solve the next problem that may find its way to our doorstep.
For those of you who know the story of Solomon; he was portrayed as the wisest man on earth. If you look back in history, he was able to solve a problem between two prostitutes who came to him about a child, it was his wisdom that discovered the real mother to the child. We know that God blessed him with the gift of wisdom to judge the people he was king to, his wisdom brought him wealth unimaginable and that can still happen today.
Problems should be viewed as blessings, because when they are solved what lasts with us is the gift of wisdom; and that in itself can never be taken away.
Some of my clients don’t understand why they have so much problems to deal with, the questions I ask them is what can they learn from the problem? How do they think the problem can be solved? Why has the problem found it’s way to them instead of someone else? In answering some of these questions lies within the wisdom to solve their problem and that also means having to accept the reality of the problem to be able to solve it. Personally, I believe the problems you have and solve, the more experience you gain and ultimately what you do with the experience becomes the gift of wisdom.
If we can change our perception of problems, perhaps rename them as processes, experiences or even challenges, then we can embrace them when they appear and positively handle them to disappear, and the result will be wisdom used for the next phase of a situation in life.
Your story will then be what you now do with the experience that has happened to you and how you handled it.
There in lies success and achievement.
Written by Jacqueline Nwokeji-Ani
Jacqueline Nwokeji-Ani is an Author, Career Coach, Leadership Consultant and Social Entrepreneur. You can contact her at info@shammahcorporation.com
Article photo by Hunterrrr
Five places to find hope…where you’d least expect it!
This is a guest post.
Sometimes there are reasons for hope but we just can’t see them. Maybe we’re too busy, rushing by simple joys and pleasures. Or we look for hope in the old familiar places but brush right by new ones where we might not think to look.
Here are some exercises to practice if you want to find hope in some unexpected places. Each exercise will bolster your appreciation for life’s wonders – and result in much more hope in your life. And guess what? They can actually be fun.
Exercise 1 – One picture a day
For the period of a week, a month, or even a year take one picture a day of the people and things that make life ‘go round’ for you. Take a snapshot of the people who help you every day – the mechanic who keeps your car going or the day-care provider who loves your child, even folks you see every day like your mail carrier or the cashier at the grocery store who always asks about your family. Use that camera phone to look for beauty in the natural world – the flaming maple tree on your street, the red tomatoes coming up in a garden or the dog that always welcomes you home with tail wagging enthusiasm. Take a photo of things that help make your life work; your car; good winter coat; your canoe or kayak, bicycle or skis, stereo, piano, guitar, books, great food.
Exercise 2 – Pay attention to the best qualities in people
Notice people’s faithfulness to each other, whether as friends, siblings, spouses, or business colleagues. Who hangs in there for others in the long haul? Look for people who exhibit generosity and kindness like the nurse at a doctor’s office who goes out of her way to escort an elderly patient to the car, a child who shares his valuable toys or parents who make sacrifices for their children. Find someone who has made a huge change in their life that no one expected. Maybe you know a recovering addict who found sobriety or a student who struggled in school but made a breakthrough with academics. Maybe you even know someone who spent time in jail but has lived a healthy life ever since. Even ordinary looking people around you have waged battles and come out the other side a better person.
Exercise 3 – Each day for one month, practice savoring life with your senses.
Cultivate wonder, curiosity, amazement and a willingness to be surprised by using ALL your senses. On Monday, pay attention to smells and your remarkable nose. On Tuesday, focus on sounds and your amazing ears. On Wednesday focus on sight and the miracle of your eyes. On Thursday notice everything that touches your skin whether it’s sunlight, a breeze or the hand of someone who cares about you. On Friday use your sense of taste to enjoy the most delicious food! Each day focusing on a particular taste will help you enjoy the simple pleasures
Exercise 4 – Make a list of all that you have survived.
You know many people – family, work colleagues, friends or any other members of your personal network – that have survived some challenging times. Make a list of these people. I think you’ll be amazed at the way people find equilibrium and exhibit resilience no matter what life has thrown at them. Seeing others’ experiences of endurance can give you something to lean on in the future – more hope!
Exercise 5 – Remember there are a lot of things that are RIGHT in the world.
Too often the news stories are filled with sad or disturbing events. Take some time to notice stories in the media, whether it’s on paper, on TV or radio, or online, about things that are good in this world. I think you’ll find a lot more positives out there than you might imagine. There’s hope!
Written by Julie Neraas
Julie Neraas is the author of Apprenticed to Hope A Sourcebook for Difficult Times.
She is an ordained minister, spiritual director and associate professor at Hamline University and speaks regularly about hope; where it can guide you, how it can sustain you and what meaning it can bring to your life.
For more information visit www.julieneraas.com.
Article photo by Yandle
5 ways to strengthen your belief in yourself
If you want to succeed, you’ve got to believe; and most importantly in yourself.
However, so often you are your own worst enemy. You berate yourself, nitpick every little failure (while ignoring your successes), and you doubt your skills and potential.
All of this keeps you from trying and taking the necessary risks to success. And it becomes deadly because despite all external factors, it all comes down to you. You make or break your successes.
But on the flip-side this is an encouraging thought. If you can strengthen your belief in yourself, there is no doubt that you will succeed.
To help you strengthen your belief in yourself, here are 5 ways to get you started.
1. Go with your gut
No matter who you are, making a decision that can completely change your life is completely scary. You can never know what crossroad is the right choice to take until it’s too late to turn back.
I recently wrote an article about this topic and I realized that, “The best road to take is the road that forces you to believe in yourself and forces you to keep hope close and tests your hope and belief along the way.”
“What if my gut is wrong?”
Well yes, it will certainly happen; you’re going to make a decision that will be wrong. But what it won’t be, is stupid, as long as you learn from it and it pushed you to believe in yourself.
2. Write down what makes you unique
You probably already know what makes you unique compared to the other 6 billion people in the world but still write it all down. Writing it out and reading it will make it so much stronger and more powerful.
3. Recall the adversities you’ve endured
You are a little bruised up by the adversities you’ve been through but you’ve survived right? This means you’ve got the strength so you should believe in yourself. You’ve got what it takes.
If you haven’t experienced any adversity in your life then it’s time to take some risks and make a lot of gut decisions. If you haven’t been through tough times, you haven’t lived yet.
4. Claim ownership of your dreams and life
No one is going to hand you your dreams and no one has the right to take them away from you. So you better take full ownership of them and your life.
Your dreams aren’t going to be achieved without you or without you believing in yourself.
5. Strengthen your belief that things will work out
Even if you don’t always make the best decisions, you can always start over. Every day grants you that opportunity if you want to take it. Again, it’s all up to you.
How have you strengthened your belief in yourself and your potential? Please share it the comments below and help us all think, learn, and strengthen.
Photo by chris runoff
At a crossroads with no directions
We’ve all been there and we will all be there again; standing at a crossroads with four possible directions to head but with no directions to tell us which way is best.
One road leads to what appears to be the Promised Land. Another road is shadowed by dark rain clouds. The third seems nonthreatening and calm. And the fourth road leads back to where you just came.
The fourth road should be instantly out your picture. You can’t turn back around even when you feel the decisions are too tough to handle. Going back brings you to a place with no progress and to a place that fills your mind with “what ifs?”.
Not having to worry about the fourth road doesn’t make your decision any easier. You still have no idea which way you should head. Other people can offer you advice but the reality is they don’t know which is best either. So where does the answer lie?
It lies within.
It comes from your heart and your guts. It’s the direction you’re draw to or pushed towards. It might be a road that you just want to explore more.
It may be the road that is full of pot holes and rain in the beginning. It doesn’t always have to be the path that’s sunny, full of flowers, and picturesque, because even those roads will have their rocky patches and need their fair share of rain.
The best road to take is the road that forces you to believe in yourself and forces you to keep hope close and tests your hope and belief along the way.
Photo by IcE MaN Photography
5 myths about achieving your dreams and goals
To help you better achieve your dreams and goals you need to free your mind of the myths and misconceptions about them.
These myths and misconceptions are negatively effecting you and are most likely holding you back from achieving your desired dreams and goals.
Here are 5 myths about achieving your dreams and goals.
1. Dreams = goals
The words dreams and goals are often used interchangeably, but they’re really very different. Dreams often don’t have a deadline attached to them or a plan for how to achieve them. Dreams are seen as “some day.” And goals are something that is a work in progress.
2. Continue chasing it even if you’ve lost the vigor for it
What if you turn a dream into a goal and during the pursuit of achieving it, you find you’ve lost the passion for it? Do you continue as is, even if you don’t enjoy it? I say no, but I also don’t think you should just give up. There are three options you can explore instead.
1 – Take a break – perhaps you’ve just lost steam (everyone does) and need time to recharge. That time could be anywhere from a few weeks to maybe even a few years.
2 – Evaluate the goal – figure out what it is about the goal that you don’t enjoy. Is it the hard work? If so, then you shouldn’t quit because hard work isn’t easy and you can’t escape it when achieving a goal, no matter the goal. Is it the actual goal you don’t like? Did you want to become a fashion designer but didn’t find it all that enjoyable? If so then consider the next option.
3 – Modify your goal – You might not like designing fashion but you probably still love clothes and fashion. So there are a million other ways you can pursue fashion. You could become a stylist, a trend hunter, or write about fashion. Most industries are the same way with various paths you can take so there’s no need for you to give up.
3. Deadlines can’t be changed
Every one of us has failed to achieve a goal before the deadline we set. So what are we supposed to do when that happens? Give up? No! We need to give ourselves some more time and make a new deadline. But also feel good about what we have achieved along the way, even if they’re small achievements.
4. No one should touch my dreams and goals
It’s very important that you stay in control of your dreams and goals but sometimes it’s necessary for you to hand off part of it to someone else so they can help. It’s often hard to achieve any goal without the help of others. But of course, in the end you have the most control in achieving your goals.
5. I should wait for the perfect time
The perfect time for chasing a dream; does it exist? Sure, the “perfect” time is ASAP. The perfect time is not when the kids move out, it’s not when you become rich, it’s not when the economy gets better, it’s not when you become older, it’s not past you, and it’s not really ever going to come because it’s already here.
Have you come to realize other myths and misconceptions about achieving dreams and goals? If so, please share in the comments below.
