Learning lessons from everyday role models
This is a guest post.
Introduction to the everyday role model
Over the course of my studies I was finding myself struggling to find direction; it felt as if I was drifting through my studies with no options available at the end of the line. This feeling did not begin to turn around until I made the decision to open myself up to colleagues at work and tutors in study; as a result I began to look deeper in to their plans for the future.
When I opened up to colleagues conversations became more serious in nature but still felt comfortable as I knew I was taking new steps to learning. This course of action encouraged me to take any available opportunity for self improvement and be engaging in the face of a challenge. This practice resulted in my undertaking of activities including driving lessons, Taijitsu classes, re-energizing the social charity committee at my place of part time work and interviewing peers on their development in aid of my BA project (which in turn inspired this article).
Sharing details about our lives with one other was both pleasant and enlightening. From reflecting on this I came to the conclusion that role models don’t have to be magnificent success stories and inspiration can come from the simple but moving characters we encounter in work, at study or anywhere else. Organizations are rarely more interesting than their people.
Many people live by their life goals; people pursue their career or their hobbies as their way of life. Ambitious people seek ambitious life goals. Inspiration can be found from many sources for those who are willing to accept learning from the examples of others. Everyday role models are people above, level or even below you within your field whose actions and insights inspire you to better yourself.
These role models can be people in situations similar to yourself or in situations you may encounter in the future it’s a matter of applying the lessons they share to your own issues.
Whatever wisdom you seek is widely available if you embrace the examples of your own everyday role models.
What makes a role model
A lot of people see a role model as their source of inspiration; these role models are commonly successful people upholding values similar to your own.
Your everyday role models are not the heroes you aspire to, but they are the people you see day to day living their own lives, each person is a storybook and their lessons have merit for those willing to listen. Your everyday role models can be ordinary people with very simple plans and values; it is in listening to and questioning these simple motivations that you can get deeper in to the mindset of your role model.
What you can learn from a role model
We are encouraged from childhood onward to have role models to look up to, so we can learn from the experiences of others. When applying this thinking to your everyday role models it is likely they have had more experiences and can offer more insights than first meets the eye. It is up to you to engage with and take lessons from these people.
Your role model of choice can act as a source of progress, by imitating their steps to success you have set down a plan to achieve. Role models can also be the ones who grant you direction to begin with, by taking their values to heart. Observing the actions and mindset of your role model allows you to compare yourself with your role model and identify changes that you feel are in order.
Everyday role models are people similar to you; they are your friends, your family and your colleagues. They have their own set of values just like your heroes and they can hold just as much wisdom as well; all that is needed is for you to open the book.
How you can start learning from your everyday role models
The beauty of observing lessons from everyday role models is the simplicity to get out there and start, these people are the people you know and care for the most. See them as an open book not a chest of secrets.
Take these lessons to begin learning from your role models:
- Take time to speak to them – A simple process, don’t be the one who is too busy to stop and talk. When you encounter one of your colleagues take the time to stop and speak to them
- Ask simple questions – These simple questions are all that’s needed to get the ball rolling, these questions are a matter of asking “What’s going on?” or “How are you?” use of simple manners put people at ease and help them open up.
- Be interested – The key to learning anything from these talks is to be attentive to what is being said. Taking an interest allows you to retain the lessons learned better, you will also come across as interested to the other person, and as a result they will feel good engaging with you and be much more open in the future.
How to be an everyday role model to others
Perhaps you admire the simplicity of learning from others and wish to know how to make yourself a better everyday role model to people. The time may come where you step up to leadership by necessity; this is the time when you will need to understand engagement. Engagement allows you to show your team:
- Understanding
- Respect
These narrow the leadership gap between you and your team, bringing you closer.
- Speak to your peers – Developing relationships from which inspiration can be derived is a two-way street. Speaking to others is the key to making yourself open.
- Give advice based on common values – Discussing solutions to issues works well if both parties have the same outcomes in mind. Identifying your own values with a colleague’s allows discussion between both parties to run parallel with one another – the result is you are working together on a logical and human level.
- Be yourself – To be regarded as a true role model you need to teach your own lessons, for if people are to accept you, they must accept the real you. They will learn to admire your quirks and see what makes you unique.
To conclude
Giving more consideration to your surroundings allows you to perceive more about life and is the first step to finding the answer to your problem, so take the first step, tell your everyday role models how you admire their values and insights, and tell them the positive effect their lessons have had on you. Now is the time to begin opening up to your own everyday role models.
Written by Daniel Burns
I am a full time BA Business Management student from Northern Ireland with aspirations for a career in management upon graduation. My 3 years of study have taught me the importance of leadership through engagement. My writing started as an outlet for my own personal reflection on life and learning. My intention is to share these thoughts with the web community in the hope of gaining a deeper understanding of working and developing through people’s values and attitudes. For any questions I’m available at bbdanpat(at)aol(dot)com.
Photo by digital cat
Life Is What You Make It – An interview with Peter Buffett
What if when you were a young adult you received an inheritance of $90,000? What would you do? Would you put the money aside in a savings account for when you’re older? Would you settle down? Or would you take a huge risk and use that money to follow your dreams and passion?
Peter Buffett was given such an opportunity and chose to take the riskiest path.
Peter is the youngest son of Warren Buffett, one of the most successful investors in the world and one of the biggest philanthropists in history. A few years ago Warren made a pledge to donate close to $40 billion to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, an organization that focuses on improving health and education around the world.
Growing up with such successful parents, you would think that the Buffett children turned into those typical heiresses you’ve seen in the media. However, Warren was not just a successful businessman but also a successful father. The Buffett family didn’t live in a sprawling mansion or drive around in Lamborghinis. They were simple (yet extraordinary at the same time). Warren and his wife Susan decided that they would help their kids get a start in life but they wouldn’t give them too much assistance and privilege that they would become lazy.
Peter is the youngest of Warren and Susan’s three children. He saw his two older siblings go through their inheritance rather quickly and he learned from that. He didn’t want to repeat the same mistake but he also didn’t want to just settle down and follow the safe path in life that would guarantee financial security. He had a passion for music and was compelled to pursue it. So at age nineteen he left Stanford University and moved to San Francisco to attempt to begin a career in music.
With his $90,000 inheritance, Peter spent it wisely buying the necessary equipment for his music and then living frugally.
He struggled for a few years working different low-paying jobs and paying his dues in the music industry. Then in 1981 he got his big break. One of Peter’s neighbors just happened to ask him what he did. Peter told him that he was a struggling musician. The man told Peter about a friend of his who was in need of musicians all the time. The neighbor referred Peter to this person, who just happened to be working for a little startup cable network called MTV. Peter began creating audio for MTV’s logos. This opened new doors for Peter as he started working for advertising agencies in San Francisco creating jingles.
Then Peter moved towards film. He composed a score for Kevin Costner’s Dances with Wolves. The score was part of the “Fire Dance” scene. Peter’s opportunities continued and he continued to seize them by composing a score for an eight part miniseries on CBS produced by Mr. Costner called 500 Nations and then contributing to a score for the film The Scarlet Letter. He continued with composing music for television and won two Emmys for An American Portrait and Ojibwe.
Peter had all these successes but he didn’t stop there. He released 15 records through the years and currently owns two independent record labels called BisonHead and BeSide Records. He also produced a theatrical concert called “Spirit – The Seventh Fire.”
Like his father and mother, Peter has the desire to give back to those less fortunate. He has collaborated with the musical artist Akon to bring awareness to the over 12 million people in the world who are trafficked for sexual and labor exploitation. Akon and Peter created songs to inspire others to help stop human trafficking and created a site where people could learn more and contribute to the cause. The site is called; IsThereSomethingICanDo.com. Peter also runs a foundation called the NoVo Foundation that fosters projects that empower women and girls around the world.
Peter had a great start in life thanks to his parents. They encouraged him to be his own person and blaze his own trails. So instead of following his father’s successful footsteps, Peter decided to go down the path that had no footsteps. It was a huge risk but that’s where his passion was pushing him to go and he couldn’t ignore it.
Peter succeeded and he also failed. And he learned along the way. Now he is sharing those lessons with others.
Peter has written a book called; Life Is What You Make It: Find Your Own Path to Fulfillment. The book asks the question of whether you’d choose the easiest path in life or the path with potentially greater satisfaction.
The book is published by Random House and is to be released on April 27, 2010. You can order it from Random House, Amazon, Borders, Barnes and Noble,or IndieBound.
I was given the amazing opportunity to ask Peter a few questions about success, creativity, and life:
- When you left college to pursue music, did you have a backup plan if you ran out of your savings and your career hadn’t taken off yet? Clearly you didn’t want to ask your father for a handout.
Not only did I not want to ask him, I knew that I wouldn’t get it! So I had to make it work. Honestly… I didn’t really have a backup plan. Although now that I’m thinking about it, I guess going back to school was my backup plan. I was very lucky that my parents were willing and able to pay for my schooling. In general, I’ve always tried to take a leap of faith knowing that if I didn’t make it, my fallback was okay, too. So in this case, school was the fallback.
- Do you think money brings happiness?
No! That is definitely a misconception. It’s important in that it puts food on the table and a roof over your head… things like that, for sure. But happiness can only come from inside of you. It may sound corny, but it’s true. I think most people are trying to make a lot of money to prove their worth.. or so they can buy things that prove their worth. This is a completely false way to get the happiness one is looking for.
- What did it feel like when you knew you had made it on your own?
Great! I like to say that “self respect comes from earning your own reward”. The only way we can truly know ourselves and live an honest life is to make our own decisions and take responsibility for them.
- You’re a multi-talented guy, what tips do you have for others to tap into their underutilized and hidden talents?
Get to know what feelings inside connect with “hey.. I like this I want to get better at it/do it more” or “this isn’t really for me… I need to find another path”. Those messages are sometimes hard to hear or they get distorted by what you “think” you need or want. Society gives us thousands of messages every day.. and they aren’t always good ones!
- What advice do you have for those who feel they can’t make a career out of their passions?
Well.. not everyone can, that’s true. I think there are two ways to look at it – you can work to live or live to work. Both are certainly viable. I think if you live to work, it means that you love what you do and have found a way to make your passion your livelihood. If you work to live, that means that you have your “day job” which may not be a perfect fit, but it allows you to pursue a passion in your free time. In that scenario, the best is if you actually love going to work because you know it’s feeding your passion outside of work.
- You and your family have the ability to tackle large philanthropic efforts, but for people with fewer resources, what can they do to help others and make the world a bit better?
There is so much value in time and expertise! Money is good, but time is at least as valuable if not more so. Philanthropy literally means the love of people. So it’s really not about money at all. It’s about wanting to help out so that we all have a brighter future. That can be helping out at a soup kitchen or lending your expertise at painting houses to Habitat for Humanity.
- Your father encouraged you and your siblings to blaze your own trails and pursue your passions; but many parents aren’t like that today. They want their children to get a degree, get a high paying job, settle down and take as little risk as possible. Why do you think that is?
Well, it’s probably a well meaning push towards security. Although sometimes it’s also for the parent’s own ego.. “my kid is at Harvard..” etc.. It’s too bad either way. My thought is that parenting should involve the idea that your child is unique in the world and how do they best grow into that unique place that is theirs alone?
- A lot of people have this negative mentality of “what’s this world coming to?” What and where do you believe this world is coming to?
I believe that all things are cyclical. The world has been around for 4 billion years, it will be here for quite some time. But humanity as it stands today is another story. Certainly America will change over the coming decades or century. The idea that we are – or have to be – “number 1″ or “the best” is already outdated. But it will probably take some sort of seismic shift for people to really get that.. and realize that it’s okay. We’re part of a global community that depends on all of us for survival. While this might come off as negative, I think it’s just the natural order of things. Everything changes… the world will probably look very different in 50 years. It’s not going to come to an end! It will just end as we know it.
- You acknowledge that you’ve let opportunities slip through your hands but you don’t seem to live with huge regrets. How do you recommend others deal with missed opportunities?
Every one of them is a learning opportunity. What were you not prepared for? How did you mess up? How can you do better next time? The key to this is taking responsibility. Finding where you went wrong and learning instead of blaming some outside situation.
- You believe time is more precious than money. How can people who are full of responsibilities like working a 9 to 5 job, raising kids, helping elderly parents, paying a mortgage, etc., find even a little time to go after their passions and dreams?
Absolutely time is more precious than money! It can never be replaced. But this is a very real and difficult question. Honestly, the best response I can think of is the importance of pursuing dreams and passions when you’re young – so you can see what takes hold before other obligations become overwhelming. Of course, for many, parenting itself is (and should be!) a passion. But the old adage that “youth is wasted on the young” I think speaks to the idea that when you’re older and saddled with more responsibilities you remember how your youth was not used as wisely as it could have been…. following your dreams.
- Do you think luck plays a major role in everyone’s success?
Yes. But being prepared for it when it comes is critical!
- Do you have any specific tips for those pursuing goals in the arts such as music, writing, painting, and film?
It can be a difficult road. But that’s where the drive that only passion can give you pays off. I think one important thing to remember is not to think that doing something even slightly related to your goal is “beneath” you. I took plenty of jobs that didn’t pay – or paid poorly. And also did work that was considered “grunt” work in the music biz. But it was all slowly taking me down a path that kept me in music. I was always learning something that would get me a little further.
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I thank him so much for giving Lyved his time and for sharing his great knowledge with us all! His story is so refreshing and inspiring. I highly encourage you to learn more about Peter Buffett and his book at his website; PeterBuffett.com.
Photo of Peter Buffett courtesy of Mr. Buffett. Image of Life Is What You Make It cover courtesy of Random House.
Update on Oreo – the rescued cat
In my previous post I wrote about how the way you treat animals gives great insight into how you treat your own life and the lives of others. I also wrote about a homeless cat that I found severely injured and was in need of very expensive surgery to save his life. I’d like to give you a quick update to those who were wondering what’s happening with him.
The animal rescue organization that was helping Oreo; Rescue Ridge, brought the cat to a veterinarian to get surgery to place pins in his badly broken leg. Unfortunately, when they were in operation the vet discovered that it was going to be too hard to repair the broken bone and the risk of future infection was too high so they had to perform an amputation on Oreo instead. It was obviously the last thing the veterinarian wanted to do but I know that this little cat will find a way to live a very long and happy life with three legs. He won’t let this stop him. And I think we should all take something from that and other animals like him.
Again, if you would like to help Oreo and the other animals Rescue Ridge rescues, please visit their Petfinder webpage here: http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/NJ220.html and go towards the middle of the page and click on the first Paypal button. There you can give any amount you can afford. Even the smallest of contributions help! And if you would please leave a note in the “Purpose” section on the donation page that you’re a Lyved reader, that’d be great.
Oreo is going to need a lot of time to rest, but he is still in need of a permanent and loving home. If you live in New Jersey and can provide that, please contact the Rescue Ridge and they’ll send you an application to fill out that will help them decide if you can provide a great home.
I’d like to give a special thanks to Rescue Ridge and all those who helped share the previous article around. I appreciate it!
-Andrew
Final Update:
My family and I have decided to welcome Oreo into our home. He’s now a part of our family 
Thanks for the support!
Want a measurement of who you are? Look at how you treat animals
“Know thyself” – Plato
One of the most elusive aspects of this thing we call “life” is figuring out who we truly are.
You already know that difficult events, failures, road blocks in life, your talents, and your passions have given a great measurement to who you are. However, there is another way for you to discover yourself more, and that is through your treatment of animals.
How you treat animals gives crystal clear insight into how you treat your own life, the lives of those around you, and the lives of complete strangers.
When I was recently visiting my grandmother I saw a neighborhood stray cat in her yard that was severely injured. He was limping, holding up one of his legs that looked broken and he was clearly in pain. I didn’t know how to help him, but I knew something had to be done. So I did a quick search online and found a great rescue organization in my area called Rescue Ridge. I got in touch and explained them the situation. One of their members, Joni, quickly replied and offered to help the cat get to a vet. She didn’t care about the cost of the medical bills or who was going to pay for it; she just wanted to give help to this helpless animal. She provided a cage, so my job was to catch the cat and get him in it for transporting. The cat was pretty friendly with me but I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.
I woke up early the next day, forgot about everything I was doing and went searching for the cat. I found him and attempted to catch him, but he took off and hid. So I waited and waited for hours. Then I went home and came back. Waited another hour. Went home and came back once again. The cat was back and I tried for another hour to catch him by hand or lure him into the cage with food. No luck. I was getting really frustrated by now. I had spent an entire day and thought to myself, “am I crazy wasting all this time trying to catch a stray cat when I could be doing more important things?”
I finally went back the next day and was able to get the hungry cat into the cage to eat after a few more hours of frustration. Once he was in, I quickly shut the door. Joni, the pet rescuer was over to pick up the cat right away. She brought the cat straight over to a vet and it turned out that the cat had basically shattered his knee and the bone was sticking out. Now he needs surgery to fix the broken bone or he may possibly need an amputation. And if doesn’t get either of those, he most likely won’t live very long. The surgery is going to cost about $1,500. So my family, Joni, and Rescue Ridge are going to try to raise donations for the surgery.
Now that I’ve had time to reflect on the question I asked myself about being crazy spending all this time and energy on this animal, I’ve come to the answer of no. I’m not all crazy! I realized that if I didn’t have compassion and patience for an injured and helpless animal then I don’t have true compassion and patience for anything.
If you want a better idea of what your character is then look at how you treat animals and even the environment. And ask yourself whether you show them and it compassion, patience, selflessness, and respect. Ask yourself if you treat them the way you’d like to be treated. And be certain to examine how you treat animals that are often seen as “insignificant” by others.
I’d like to take a quick moment to encourage you to help and to thank Rescue Ridge and their rescuer Joni. She took time off from work to help us with the cat, without looking for anything in return and then was thanking us for helping. She has real passion and a caring heart. Rescue Ridge is a non-profit organization based in New Jersey that takes in dogs, cats, horses, and other animals that other shelters have given up on. Rescue Ridge is these animals last hope. They run entirely by donations and by the work of volunteers. If you would like to help them in any way you can, please visit their Petfinder page here: http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/NJ220.html and click on the first donation button towards the middle of the page under the “Sponsor A Pet” section. And if you could please leave a note under the “purpose” section with your donation that you’re a Lyved reader, we’d greatly appreciate.
If $5 is all you can spare, even that would help immensely. Or if you’d prefer to contribute to an animal organization closer to you, please visit the shelter page at Petfinder.com: http://www.petfinder.com/shelters.html
And finally, if you live in New Jersey and would like to open your heart and home to this very friendly homeless cat please contact the Rescue Ridge or myself and I’ll put you in touch. They’ll send you an application to fill out to see if you’d be a good fit. The cat is almost a year old, black and white (we’re calling him Oreo), he enjoys playing, running around, and would unconditionally love whoever gives him a second chance.
UPDATE:
Please click here to read update on Oreo.
Dog photo by lecates
It’s Never Too Late to Do What You Love
This is a guest post.
“I feel like my best days are behind me,” Jan said when she called to discuss her career goals. “It’s too late to do what I really want to do, so I’ll have to settle for security. Can you help me find what that is before it’s too late?”
Jan is not alone in thinking that time is her enemy. Many of my clients believe they missed life’s greatest opportunities, even young clients who have decades of life ahead of them. Jan’s autobiography (my client’s first assignment) revealed her obsession with appearances began when she identified with her mother’s hopes and dreams. As she worked on her life story Jan realized when and why she decided that she should repeat her mother’s life. Looking at the parents and their marriage from an adult’s point of view set her free to create a different ending to her story, although this did not happen overnight.
As Jan learned, pretending to be the person she thought others wanted her to be was a hard habit to break. Again and again she found herself going back to what was familiar, such as trying to please everyone, and then feeling too exhausted to discover what she wanted to do.
When Jan’s subconscious finally accepted she had needs, particularly the need for solitude and intellectual stimulation, she ended a relationship and went back to school to get a graduate degree in psychology. Today she uses her experience and insight to help clients find meaning in their lives.
“I could never be as effective as I am without the struggle I went through,” Jan said, when she called to let me know how life and work were going. “Nor could I bear with my clients when they are going through difficult situations. I know that eventually they will see that today is not yesterday, that opportunities abound. Then, just as I did, they will feel as though they woke up from a bad dream.”
An added bonus to Jan’s career success is the man she met at a psychology conference.
“We’re the same age and we have the same values. Neither of us wants to go back in time, where we are is too much fun.”
Jan’s experience with time changed when she discovered the authentic self she had rejected for fear of disapproval. She doesn’t worry about what others think and do now, which gives her a distinct advantage in the marketplace. While other counselors try to be all things to all people and fail, Jan’s practice is thriving.
“You have to listen to your intuition if you want to get life moving in the right direction,” Jan said, as she gathered up her belongings. “In the end, it’s the best guide, but boy, is it ever hard to trust that inner voice when so many people are going in the opposite direction.”
To make money doing what you love look within to find the treasure of great price: your authentic self. Write your life story, beginning with your grandparents and parents’ beliefs about money, work and love. As you work on your story think like a novelist, refer to family members by their first names so you can see them as people, not as authority figures you dislike, fear or worship.
Objectivity about your forbearers will also help to resolve conflicts you have today with authority figures, such as bosses, experts, and partners who would rather be right than reasonable. Seeing these people as they are not as you want them to be will help you to be more self-accepting.
By the time you finish your story you will see the choices you made that always ended in failure, some of which you may still repeat. And you will see when you were true to yourself in spite of the risks. If you stop making the choices that never work, and you repeat the choices that always turn out well, you will succeed beyond your fondest dreams. Then time will shift into timelessness.
Written by Nancy Anderson
Nancy Anderson is a career and life consultant based in the San Francisco Bay Area and the author of the best-selling career guide, Work with Passion, How To Do What You Love For a Living. Her new book, Work with Passion in Midlife and Beyond is available in online and retail bookstores. Her website is workwithpassion.com.
Photo by flickrohit
